The Subject: Rewrite
by LambGraceless
Summary: Boy finds Girl from alternate universe. Girl knows things. Boy is intrigued. (Rewrite of The Subject)
1. Chapter 1

Author's note: So umm...it's been awhile, eh? Sorry. I've decided to rework The Subject into something a little less rushed and a little more in character. Some of the plot will be the same while some of it will be completely different. I hope my readers enjoy the reworking and feel free to leave feedback!

Disclaimer for all: don't own nothin'.

I've never considered myself to be an "outdoorsy" sort of person. I'll admit, nature is a beautiful and wonderful gift that should be treasured and preserved for those who wish to experience nature in its purest form as long as they wish. People like my father believe that everyone should spend at least thirty minutes a day in the throes of nature, no matter how terrible the heat index or humidity get. Those who disagree and prefer to live their lives in temperatures under 80 degrees Fahrenheit are labeled as no-life, overweight depressed trolls; though I'm pretty sure he only thinks of me in that way.

But that's completely irrelevant right now. I can brood about my piss poor family situation later.  
Right now, I'm in a forest. A very thick and deep forest that looks nothing like the forest behind my house. For one, it's missing the large obnoxious "No Trespassing" sign that most of the people in my neighborhood blatantly ignore. For another, the terrain looks as if it had not been maintained for hiking. I also didn't remember falling asleep in the forest.

Which lead me to wonder why I'm currently propped up against a tree trunk.

I blink in confusion as I survey my surroundings as my mind goes into panic driven overdrive. Where was I? How did I get here? Why am I here? Who did this to me? Why did they do this to me? What the hell is going on?

I close my eyes and attempt to calm myself with deep calming breaths.

In. Out. In. Out. Slow, concise, controlled. I am in control of my thoughts. I am totally not freaking out right now. Nope. Nuh uh. Not me.

First question. Where was I? Judging by the air quality and temperature, I'm most definitely not in Louisiana anymore. The air I was currently breathing was lacking the oppressive humidity and last I had checked, it was summer, so if I were still in Louisiana, it would be over 100 degrees and the humidity would be making it worse.  
It felt like a nice spring day in the Midwestern United States rather than a horrid summer's day in the Deep South. Was I transported somewhere by someone? Or something?  
Why would someone transport me, a random 20 something that had little to no interaction with the outside world, to a place like this? Perhaps my family had finally snapped and sold me off to participate in some sort of social experiment? Was I going to have to participate in some sort of Hunger Games scenario?

The thought of having to fight for my life gave me the energy to stand, and I immediately wish I hadn't, as the wooziness from standing up too fast set in. I brace my back against the tree, holding my head in my hands.

"Dammit." I mutter, trying not to burst into tears. I can't be crying now, not when I have my life on the line. I'm freaking out again. Controlled breathing. I can do this. I am in control. Say it, now.  
"I. am. in. control." I whisper through clenched teeth. Alright. Inventory check. What do I currently have on my person?

\- The clothes that I am wearing:  
\- Pink fuzzy socks, now soiled by the dirt.  
\- Pajama shorts, blue in color, very immodest, but I am thankful for them as I usually don't sleep in shorts  
\- A grey tank top  
\- One pair of glasses, currently on my face.  
\- A ponytail holder, currently holding my longish reddish brown hair in place. Mostly.

End Inventory.

I groan. If I were in a RPG, I'd be absolutely screwed. Overweight, out of shape, weaponless, armorless. I'm a walking target.  
So what the hell do I do? I slide downwards against the trunk and start to sob. Like a fucking coward.

Suddenly, my eyelids feel extremely heavy and my head is extremely woozy and I'm too weak to fight the feeling, so I let the unconsciousness overtake me.

This is how I die, I guess.

* * *

 **Meanwhile..**

It started as a simple recon mission.

One of Orochimaru-sama's subordinates had reported a chakra anomaly (or rather, a chakra void), and Yakushi Kabuto was intrigued enough to investigate the anomaly himself. His current projects were starting to bore him anyway.

Tracker in hand, Kabuto swiftly makes his way towards the anomaly. His mind races with excitement. What sort of entity would cause such a lack of chakra? Perhaps he could use this to his advantage when he inevitably faces his master in combat. Of course, further study and experimentation would need to be done.

Kabuto smirks at the thought of the possibility as the tracker makes a noise through the earpiece lodged in his right ear, indicating that the target was dead ahead.  
Kabuto's smirk fades when he spots the anomaly.

The anomaly was a woman slumbering against a tree trunk. A civilian woman in her early to mid twenties. Most likely foreign, judging by her facial features. Her body, while not obese, is quite out of shape, her natural curves billowing out just a bit more than they should. She is dressed skimpily, as if someone had pulled her out of bed without her permission. A pair of square glasses adorn her face, as if she had fallen asleep unexpectedly.

The young scientist debates whether to wake the girl or take her back to his lab while she is still unconscious. His sadistic side wins out in the end, prompting him to wake the girl, making certain she is unaware of her presence. How will she react, he wonders. Kabuto sets his tracker to a certain frequency, guaranteed to wake anything in the vicinity. Then, he pulls out a small writing pad, and prepares for the first experiment.

The subject's eyes fly open and she lets out a gasp of fear. Her eyes are large, blue and terrified, indicating that she did not wake up where she had fallen asleep. As she observes her surroundings, the subject looks as if she's on the verge of a panic attack, which confirmed Kabuto's hypothesis: she was placed in the forest against her will. Interesting.

He observes his new experiment subject as she cycles through several methods to calm herself and think rationally, none of which seemed to be of any effect. She starts cursing in the language of the Western continent, a language Kabuto knows almost as well as his native tongue. Excellent. Communication will be no problem, he notes.

Finally, her despair sets in and the subject begins to sob heavily, curling into a fetal position against the base of the tree. Obviously she had given up, and it was time for Kabuto to collect.

Kabuto digs into his pack and puts on his gas mask, before reaching into his pack again to launch a sleep grenade into the forest below.

It doesn't take long for the girl to succumb to unconsciousness, and Kabuto swoops down from his hiding place in the trees and claims his prize, scooping his new subject into his arms and taking her to his lab for further experimentation.

* * *

 _ **Beep. Beep. Beep.**_

I find myself coming out of unconsciousness slowly.

Guess I'm not dead yet. Wonderful. I groan softly as I open my eyes slowly. I note that I'm hooked up to several machines, one of which is a heart monitor that is incessantly beeping away, confirming the fact that yes, I was, in fact, alive.

I slowly turn my head to the right. Sure enough, there was the monitor and...I check my arm. Yup, there's an IV too.

"Huh. I've never been hospitalized." I murmur softly to myself.

"And you still haven't. This isn't a hospital."

A voice. Male. Tenor. American, I guessed, but I could be wrong. **_Attractive_**.

"Huh. Sure looks like a hospital room to me." I deadpan softly. He laughs in response. It's a nice laugh.

Footsteps, then a guy comes into my line of sight.

He's definitely in his early twenties, with slightly East Asian facial features. Despite his age, the guy had fully silver hair, that he wore long and pulled back into a low ponytail against his neck. He's wearing a lab-coat, and large Harry Potter-like glasses.

"Aren't you a bit young to be a doctor, Doc?" I ask wearily. The guy's lips twitch upward in amusement.

"I'm a medic, not a doctor."

"Oh, I see. You only help people be more comfortable, while they die."

My half-assed Red vs Blue reference gets a larger chuckle out of my caretaker. I doubt he got the reference but hey at least I made him laugh?

"You're not dying." he says. "According to my initial tests, you're just fine. If you're up to it I'd like to ask you a few questions, is that all right?"

"Yeah, okay. I guess." I mumble. I feel lethargic. I had a feeling that the guy was drugging me with something in that IV to keep me docile. Something was wrong here. He's definitely hiding something.

The guy who is definitely not a doctor pulls out a notepad and pen.

"What is your full name?"

"Marie Ann Baxter"

"Date of Birth?"

"May 26th, 1993."

The medic frowns. "And how old does that make you?"

"...Seriously? I'm twenty-five."

"Occupation?

I hold up a hand to stop him. "Wait a second. I have a few questions of my own, alright?"

The young medic raises an eyebrow, pockets his notepad and crosses his arms against his chest. "Alright. What do you want to know?"

"Who are you?"

"My name is Yakushi Kabuto.

"  
My eyes widen. Red flag. Red _fucking_ flag.

I yank the IV out of my arm quickly and attempt to run the fuck out of there. This man obviously has mental issues and if he's modeling his fantasies off of a character in fucking Naruto, then I need to get far far away from him and his drugs before he makes me into one of them.

However the drugs were still in my system so I just kind of floundered on the bed.

"Curious. You've heard of me, then? Would've thought that someone as insignificant as myself wasn't worth the infamy? Ah, well. Suppose it was inevitable." he muses.

I need to run. I need to get out of here. Now. He has equipment and shit and if he has deluded himself into thinking that he's Yakushi Kabuto, I'm in for a lifetime of human experimentation.

"W-what are you planning to do with me?" I whisper.

Kabuto sighs dramatically. "Well, Marie-san, you are a mystery. You are alive and you exist, yet you don't generate any chakra whatsoever. How can that be, I wonder?"

I shrug silently.

"Do you want to hear my theory, Marie-san?"

"I'm assuming you're going to tell me whether I say yes or no. But, sure. I'll play along. Tell me." I mutter weakly.

"Everything in this world generates chakra, therefore, you must not be from this world. Your answers to my questions support this hypothesis. For example, the way you structured your date of birth. This world has a similar month and date structure but the year is unfamiliar with me. It's not because you are foreign, because I am familiar with the Western year system. But the most interesting observation of all is your reaction to my name."

"I-is that so?"

"I detected a hint of familiarity in your eyes. I must know, is there another me in your world?"

I laugh nervously, without humor. "Look, I _get_ it. Kabuto's your favorite Naruto character. Guess what, I'm a Kabuto sympathizer. His story is tragic and yeah his head's a bit screwed up but that's not his fault. At his core he's a kind man, albeit very _very_ deep down. But what you're doing is dangerous not only to me but to yourself. Living in a fantasy world is not healthy and I'm willing to help you seek mental health assistance if you would just let me go. _Please_."

After I finished speaking, Kabuto starts laughing maniacally, his grin growing even wider and crueler. "So, according to you, I'm a fictional character, is that what I'm hearing?" He leans closer to me, his hands are on the mattress and his eyes are filled with manic energy.

"Y-you need help. Serious psychiatric help."

"From your perspective, I'm sure I do." He leans closer to me, his nose inches away from my own. His eyes scan my face intensely.

"W-what are you doing?"

"You have a bruise ..." "Kabuto" murmurs softly, his breath tickling my face lightly. He does a few hand signs, and brings his right hand to my forehead, and suddenly it's glowing green and I can't stop myself from screaming.

Review and enjoy~


	2. Chapter 2

Author's note: So, I got 21 reviews...all from spam bots telling me that my story was gonna get reported. Yay! Isn't the internet grand?

* * *

Kabuto's left hand clamps over my mouth firmly.

"Shhhh, shhhhh, it's alright." he whispers softly. "I'm only going to heal this bruise. Nothing more. Unless you want me to, that is." The last sentence is laced with sensual intent, and I blush furiously at the implication.

The hand on my forehead stops glowing and he frowns. "Hm. It seems you're immune to my healing jutsu. Interesting."

My eyes widen in fear. What the fuck was that? How did he do that? How much money has he dedicated to this fantasy?

I try and convey these emotions with my eyes as "Kabuto's" hand was still firmly on my mouth. In an attempt to remove it, I attempt to open my mouth and bite his hand but the pressure exerted on my mouth was too much for that, so I compromise by attempting to lick his gloved palm. Which, in hindsight, was a stupid fucking idea because he was wearing gloves.

"Kabuto" gets the message, and removes his hand from my mouth. "Apologies. I should have realized that a healing jutsu would seem abnormal to someone that has no chakra of her own."

I stare at him in disbelief.

"You doubt my sincerity? I genuinely do not want to harm you."

"Bullshit. You kidnapped and drugged me, okay? Your 'nice and polite act' card has been revoked."

As drugged as I currently was, I could still manage sass, apparently.

His eyebrows raise as he grins in amusement. It's not a cruel grin this time, thankfully. "I see. And what can I do to get it back, hmmm?"

"Fuck, I dunno? Give me my freedom?"

A chuckle. "Afraid that isn't on the table, Marie-chan. You are an anomaly that must be studied extensively. If you cooperate, however, there will be rewards in it for you."

I look at "Kabuto" questionably. "Such as?"

"Information about your existance. Possibly a scientific breakthrough about dimension travelling?"

"Before I submit to anything, I want proof."

"Of what?"

"That you are who you say you are. That little hand glow trick may work on some people, but it's 2018, and I'm pretty sure some really rich people can do some amazing things with technology nowadays."

"Kabuto" looks at me smugly. "Alright. How can I prove to you that I am who I say I am?"

"First of all, I want these damn drugs out of my system, alright? I want to be completely and totally me. Also, I want to think it over."

"Alright. I'll give you some time."

* * *

After a ridiculously long yet indeterminate amount of time, while the drugs were getting out of my system, I thought of several things that would convince me that I was now in fact, in the Naruto universe.

Half of me still considered the entire concept bullshit.

The other half, the 12 year old half of me, wanted it to be real. I considered Naruto to be one of my very first "fandom" obsessions and to this day I still read Naruto fanfiction, and I've even found myself keeping somewhat up to date with the Boruto anime as a guilty pleasure. But I was honestly in love with the fandom more than I was the actual story, which threw a bunch of genuinely interesting characters at an audience full of talented content creators. It was the fandom that made me fall in love with fanfiction and even though I never wrote any myself, I'd never lost that love for it.

Which lead to the question...who was this "Kabuto" and how could he prove he was who he said he was?

I had meant what I said, I was very much a Kabuto sympathizer. He had a lot of crap thrown at him and really didn't deserve to be used the way he was used. I even had a small crush on him when I was in middle school (before I found out he was a spy, of course). But once I got older, I learned about his tragic early life and what he went through during the Fourth Great Shinobi War in addition to the aftermath.

My heart kinda hurt for the guy, all things considered. If this "Kabuto" was any indication, the fact that he went from a polite caregiver, to a monologuing supervillain, and then back to polite caregiver in one conversation is evidence of a serious identity crisis.

True Kabuto or not, the guy I met needs mental stability, and damn it if I'm stuck here, we might as well find it together.

Turns out, waiting for drugs to exit your system is boring as hell. Even worse, my tiny little room didn't have a clock so I wasn't aware of how much time was passing.

The room I was currently trapped in was arranged like a hospital room/office. "My" bed was shoved in a corner along with several monitors and medical devices. A generic looking desk was placed a few feet away with a (locked) file cabinet which I assume contains "data" that "Kabuto" has collected about the "experiment."

Yes I still have a sneaking suspicion that this man is a very mentally ill, yet wealthy Naruto fanatic that has fueled his delusions with the money at his disposal and he kidnaps unsuspecting people to perform either fake human experiments or horrific body mutilations under the guise of performing human experiments.

For my sake, I'm hoping he's doing the former rather than the latter. I'd much rather be a unwilling player in a play put on by a delusional Naruto fanatic rather than the lab rat of a mentally deranged madman who also happens to be a delusional Naruto fanatic.

All things considered, he sure did look and act like Kabuto would if he were an actual living breathing person. Though, that might be the drugs talking.

Thankfully, there was an attatched bathroom with a sink and a small shower. However there weren't any sort of bathroom things, just the bare minimum. I'm assuming that this "Kabuto" wasn't expecting a "guest" at such short notice.

That was it for the room. I spent my time trying to open the locked drawers of the desk and file cabinet with a pen I found laying on the heart monitor. Once I stopped feeling all woozy, of course.

"Kabuto" was also kind enough to leave me a notepad for writing down my ideas. I get the sinking suspicion he wants me to use it as a journal so he can creep upon my innermost thoughts but you know what? Fuck him. I'mma use it to doodle and write out stupid lists. I've already made a few:

\- "Top Ten places I'd rather be than trapped in here"

\- "Top Eleven Naruto Characters I'd rather be stuck with than Yakushi Kabuto"

\- Top Twelve Animes that I'd rather be stuck in than fuckin' Naruto

I amused myself with these lists up until the pen ran out of ink, then I paced around my cell for what felt like ages, until I finally got exhausted and passed out on the bed.

* * *

I regain consciousness and the blurry form of "Kabuto" is writing at the desk.

Rubbing my eyes, I yawn loudly to alert him of my current state of wakefulness. He looks up from his work and nods in acknowledgement.

"Good morning, Marie-san. Did you sleep well?"

I grunt noncommittally. "I guess. Where are my glasses?"

"Kabuto" reaches into his pocket and pulls out...something that I can't see. He leaves his desk to walk closer to me, holding out what seems to be a pair of new rectangle black-framed glasses.

"Your other pair seemed to be a bit worse for wear, so I had new ones made for you that matched the prescription. I hope that's alright." He smiles sheepishly, almost innocently. I narrow my eyes at him as I take the glasses and place them on my face.

"Trying to buy me off, hm?" I ask suspiciously.

"I wouldn't dream of it, Marie-san. After all, I did say that I would prove that I am who I said that I was, correct?"

"Any other presents for me, 'Kabuto'?" I ask, my voice dripping with sarcasm.

"Yes, in fact. I brought you some clean clothing. Feel free to change out of your sleepwear." He gestures to the paper bag next to the desk, picking it up and handing it to me.

I glance down at the contents, which consisted of a grey tunic and deep purple pants, i.e. the standard Oto nin uniform.

"So I don't get a purple bow? That's disappointing." I mutter dryly.

"Kabuto" chuckles. "I did provide a simple sash to tie everything together in the bottom of the bag."

I give him a look before retreating into the bathroom to change.

* * *

The clothes fit me okay, I guess. The pants were a little tight in the thigh area; thankfully the tunic was long enough for that not to be an issue.

"Kabuto" is sitting at the desk, scribbling at his notes. He gives me a once over with his eyes and shoots me a small smirk. "They suit you."

I shrug noncommittally.

"You don't agree?"

"I don't really care" I grumble as I throw myself on the bed and stare at the ceiling. "So. What kind of fun do you have planned for me today, doc?"

* * *

Review and enjoy!


	3. Chapter 3

**Author's Note: I suffered from a little bout of writer's block, but I managed to plow through it. Shout out to Loeka for letting me talk their ear off about this story.**

* * *

 **12 hours beforehand...**

Kabuto sits at the desk in his apartment, deep in thought, one question repeating in his mind over and over.

 _What do I do with Marie Ann Baxter?_

He takes off his glasses and rubs his eyes, leaning back into his chair.

"What to do..what to do.." he mutters under his breath thoughtfully.

First of all she was much much more interesting than a mere chakra anomaly, that was for certain. That was actually turning out to be the least interesting thing about the woman. It had taken all of his self-control to not react when she started referring to him as a fictional character.

There was a possiblity that she knew things about his past. Things that Kabuto wasn't allowed to tell anyone thanks to the seal placed on his tongue. She had expressed sympathy for his character.

Kabuto scoffs. The way she was talking implied that he was a villain in the story, especially if _Uzumaki Naruto_ , of all people, was the main character.

"Ridiculous." he murmurs. "Absolutely ridiculous." Kabuto shakes his head and leans forward with his elbows on the desk, putting his face in his hands.

Was he seriously considering the fact that this woman came from an alternate universe as truth? Not only that, in this alternate universe, there is a work of fiction titled Naruto? It was absolutely absurd.

Maybe he did need psychiatric help after all.

* * *

 **Present**

"So, what kind of fun do you have planned for me, doc?"

"Kabuto" gives me a small smile. "Still calling me that, I see."

"I'm not validating your life choice to live as a fictional character. So until I know your real name, I'm calling you doc."

"Kabuto" chuckles. "Fair enough, I suppose. If you don't mind, I'd like to ask you a few more questions, Marie-san."

I give him a look. "I thought you were going to prove your legitimacy to me today."

"Maybe. That depends on how you answer my questions."

So that's how he's going to play this.

"Fine. Whaddya want to know?"

"Tell me about this...Naruto story."

I laugh. He's playing dumb. Okay, I'll bite. "Uh. Okay. It's a popular franchise with both manga and anime adaptations about a kid in orange that becomes a ninja."

"Kabuto" frowns a little. "Alright. And who am I in this story?"

"Well, judging by your appearance, I'd say you're..how old? 23? 24?"

"23." he supplies.

"So you're going for early Shippuden Kabuto, hmm?"

"You're talking nonsense." His voice is annoyed. I guess I'm testing his patience.

Wow he really will not break character, will he? I sigh heavily.

"Okay fine. You were first introduced before the first Chunin exam as this cute older genin who had failed the exam several times and collected information about the candidates."

"Kabuto" raises an eyebrow. "Cute, you say?"

Did I say that out loud? Whoops. I feel my cheeks heat up a little.

"Um. Well I thought you were cute when I was like 12, alright? S-shut up. Anyway, later you were revealed to be a spy for the incoming invasion of Konoha and my opinion of you kind of faltered after that."

"I see. So I'm a villain."

I shrug. "I guess. You're more well known as being Orochimaru's right hand man and top operative."

"...Interesting. Anything else you can tell me? You mentioned something yesterday about a..and I quote 'tragic backstory'? What can you tell me about that?" "Kabuto's" voice is laced with something dangerous. This is obviously an important question.

I gulp. I know where this is going.

"You want to know if I know about ROOT, don't you?"

"Kabuto's" eyes flash dangerously and he smirks. "Oh my. A foreigner such as yourself knowing about such a secret organization is grounds for assassination."

My eyes widen. "You're not serious."

"I'm very serious. It's a good thing you're down here with me. If they knew that you knew about Konoha's dirty little secret, I'm sure you'd be on Danzo's hitlist."

"L-like you were?"

He laughs. "Precisely. Well, you've convinced me."

I blink. "I've...convinced you? Of what?"

"To the public, ROOT doesn't exist. It never existed. Only a few know of it's existance and Danzo has made sure to silence those who are aware of it's former existance. Or continued existance. Whatever. The fact that I can talk to you about this is proof enough that you're telling the truth about where you come from."

I raise my eyebrows in surprise. "And why is that?"

"Kabuto"...sticks out his tongue and points to it. It's branded with a symbol.

"And what is that?"

"Kabuto" puts his tongue back into his mouth.

"A seal preventing me from telling anyone about ROOT unless they already know about it."

"Was...was it painful?" I meet his gaze.

"Very." he murmurs softly. "Are you saying that you believe me?"

I shrug. "I think I'm starting to. Maybe. I'm not sure."

"I see." Kabuto checks his watch. "I'm afraid I must leave you now. I'll be back later today, alright?"

I sigh. "Can you leave me a pencil this time? Drawing with pen is hard."

He laughs. "Alright."

* * *

Kabuto walks out of Marie's room as calmly as possible. Inside, his mind was racing with unanswered questions. He storms down the hallway towards his quarters. Once inside, he starts laughing hysterically. The whole situation was too absurd to be true.

The seal didn't activate.

It's obvious Marie wasn't an operative. Kabuto would've been able to tell if she was. She's too soft to be a shinobi too, in addition to her complete and utter lack of chakra.  
Perhaps in her universe there is no chakra.

Her _universe_. Kabuto gasps for air as he makes his way to the kitchen to pour himself a glass of something alcoholic. If he was going to see her later again today, he'd need it.

After pouring himself a glass of bourbon, Kabuto mulls over his current situation.

Fact #1: In his custody, at this very moment is a woman who originates from an alternate universe without chakra, where his universe is a work of fiction.

Fact #2: In this work of fiction, secret organizations whose knowledge of would get you silenced, are common knowledge.

Fact(?) #3: This woman from an alternate universe is almost definitely attracted to him despite the fact that she thinks he's a madman who is masquerading as a fictional character.

Kabuto wasn't oblivious, he had felt Marie's face heat up through his gloves when he tried to heal the bruise on her forehead with his healing jutsu. Not to mention the fact that she can barely look him in the eye without her cheeks turning a lovely pink, complimenting her already attractive facial features.

Fact #4: He was attracted to her physically.

Marie was a rather attractive woman, Kabuto admitted to himself.

"What else does she know, I wonder?" he wonders out loud, sipping on his drink.

As a spy, Kabuto knew how to extract information in every way possible. He wouldn't mind finding out what she knows through pleasurable means. It would be the few rare instances that he felt attraction for his seduction target as well.

He had already flirted with her a little bit, eliciting a positive response.

It wouldn't take much, just a few stray touches, a few lingering looks, a few conversations in hushed tones, a few stolen kisses. Sure, it's been a few years since he's used this method, but he wasn't too worried. He could probably get her into his bed within the month if he was lucky. Maybe even less, if the sexual tension was thick enough. Their earlier encounter had already sparked a hormonal response within him.

Still...it didn't hurt to have a back up plan, just in case things went south.

"Hmm..."

* * *

I groan as I roll myself around my cell in the desk chair. I was so bored. There was absolutely nothing to do in this stupid shithole.

Kabuto had been gone for god knows how long and I got bored with drawing like, several hours ago.

My current source of entertainment was rolling around in the desk chair.

Finally I hear the door creak open. Kabuto appears with a bowl of ramen noodles and some chopsticks. He places them on the desk and smiles at me. My cheeks warm a bit. It should be illegal to be crazy and _that_ attractive.

"Thought you might be hungry."

My stomach decides to growl at that second and he chuckles. I scowl at him and dig in, snatching the chopsticks with my left hand and shoving food into my mouth. I inhale the noodles in less than two minutes while Kabuto watches me with an amused look on his face.

"Thanks for the food." I mutter.

"You're welcome. How are you doing?"

I bite my tongue before I snapped at him. "Well, doc. I'm very very bored."

A chuckle. "I can imagine. I can lend you some reading material if you'd like. In western, of course."

I tilt my head inquisitively. "Western?"

"The language we are currently speaking?"

"You mean English?"

"I guess that's what they call it where you're from, hm?"

"Yeah. That's what they call it."

Kabuto gives me a small smile. "If you'd like, I also have a project I need help with."

"What sort of project?"

"I'll keep that a surprise for now. Right now I'm still working out the details. You seem like an intelligent and well-spoken woman, I'm sure you can handle it."

I flush at the compliment. He's up to something. I'm not sure what, but there's no way he's being this nice for my benefit. For now, I'm going to agree to participate, because yes I am that bored.

"Alright, I'll do it."

"Excellent. Now, if you don't mind. I'm going to check your vitals. Get on the bed."

I untangle myself from the desk chair and sit myself on the bed. Kabuto takes off his lab coat, revealing a black sweater and slacks underneath. He rolls up his sleeves, revealing well-defined forearms that I totally didn't stare at for a good few seconds.

I note that today, he isn't wearing gloves as he digs through the pocket of his discarded lab coat to pull out a thermometer and a penlight.

He then joins me on the bed, and his leg brushes my own as he pops the thermometer in my mouth with a shit-eating grin on his face.

"Give me your wrist." he says seductively. Ugh. He's doing this on purpose. Does he think I'm an idiot? I know flirting with ulterior motives when I see it and he's definitely after something other than my body.

I attempt to hold in my recent revelation and do as the medic commanded me to do. I hold out my wrist and he takes it gently, holding it in one hand and feeling for my pulse in another. His skin is soft and warm, but his fingers also have callouses on them from his shinobi lifestyle.

Shit. _Shit_. _**Shit**_.

The thermometer beeps and Kabuto takes it out of my mouth, his fingers softly and deliberately brushing my face as he does. His dark eyes scan the results. and he gets off of the bed to place the thermometer on the desk.

"Well you don't have a fever. Doesn't explain your face is so red, hm?"

I close my eyes so I don't have to see his stupid smug handsome face.

I feel Kabuto rejoin me on the bed.

"Alright I'm going to need you to open your eyes."

I do, and Kabuto's face is inches away from my own. He puts his hands on either side of my face, and removes my glasses, clipping them to the neck of his sweater.

He then proceeds to shine a light into both of my eyes, staring at me intently as he does.

"Open your mouth," he murmurs softly, breath fanning my face.

He does the same thing to my mouth, then he places a finger under my chin after he finishes. "Close it."

"U-um. Not that I'm complaining, but you don't have to be this touchy feely for a simple check up exam."

Kabuto smiles. He brushes aside my hair on both sides to reveal my ears. Then he leans in close to my right ear and whispers "Maybe I want to touch you." before examining it, then examining the other before whispering"I get the feeling you want to touch me as well, hm?" He ends the sentence with a low chuckle that sends pleasant shivers down my spine as his lips ghost the skin under my ear.

"W-well you're not wrong," I stammer. "B-but if it's okay with you I'd like to um, know you longer than 24 hours, y'know? M-Maybe take me out to dinner first or something, hm?"

Kabuto pulls away from my neck and nods in understanding. "I understand. I apologize for invading your personal space like that. It was...inappropriate and unprofessional of me to do such a thing."

I laugh nervously. "It's...it's fine."

He gets off of the bed, puts on his coat, and awkwardly gathers up his medical instruments, stuffing them into his pockets. "I'll, ah, see you tomorrow, and I'll bring books, alright?"

"Uh...okay?"

Then he left me alone, forgetting that my glasses were on his shirt. Well, it's not like I have anything to see here anyway.

My face burns and my neck tingles from where Kabuto's lips had almost touched. What the hell was that? I mean sure he's kind of flirted with me ever since we met, but this was taking it to a whole different level.

Was he seducing me? Why the hell would he want to do that? I mean sure he's ridiculously interested in what I knew about ROOT and shit but how is bedding me going to accomplish getting that information?

I certainly wasn't complaining. He was going to get jack squat as far as information went, no matter how good the sex was.

Because if sex was what he was offering, I was going to take it, but I sure as hell wasn't giving him the information he wanted.

I chuckle evilly to myself and drift off to sleep.

* * *

The next morning, it wasn't Kabuto visiting me.

It was Sasuke.

* * *

 **Review and enjoy!**


	4. Chapter 4

Author's Note: Mild smut warning! As always I label smut, so you can skip it if you want to.

* * *

 **Earlier that morning..**

Kabuto took a deep breath before knocking on the Uchiha's door. Sasuke was...a difficult boy to deal with and Kabuto tried to avoid interacting with him as little as possible.

The door opened and a sullen looking teenage boy stood in the doorframe. He looked as if he had just rolled out of bed, hair disheveled and shirtless.

"What do you want?" snapped Sasuke.

"Orochimaru-sama has decided to continue your studies in the Western language, Sasuke-kun."

The Uchiha tilted his head. "I thought you were too busy to teach me, Kabuto."

Kabuto smiled. "Oh, that's still true. I've found you a native speaker to help you with your pronunciation. That is all you have left to master, is it not?"

"Uh huh."

"Excellent. Though, I have a favor to ask of you. This teacher has some very important information that she is withholding from me. Information about your old home, its history, maybe even information about the future. If she reveals anything to you, I want you to report it to me, and only me."

Sasuke gave Kabuto his best Uchiha scowl. "And why should I do that?"

Kabuto smirked. "You see, I'm also trying to coerce information out of her. If she says anything about your brother Itachi or the Uchiha massacre to me, I will share that information with you."

Sasuke's eyes widened in interest. "You better not be lying about this."

"Trust me, I'm not. Get dressed, you'll meet her in twenty minutes. Oh, and give her these for me, will you?" He handed Sasuke a note and a pair of glasses. Sasuke snatched them away quickly.

"Fine."

The door slammed in Kabuto's face and he breathed a sigh of relief. That had gone better than he'd thought. It seemed he caught Sasuke-kun in a good mood.

He suspected that Marie still thought he was a madman pretending to be a fictional character. Sasuke and his Sharingan would most likely be proof enough to push her into believing that the world that she currently resided in was no longer the world she came from.

Plus, Sasuke needed to become fluent in the Western language. Kabuto had been tutoring him for awhile and he was almost there, but lately he hadn't had the time to continue his lessons. Marie was the perfect replacement, as she was a native speaker and could help him develop a more natural sounding accent.

Also the boy needed to get out of his damn room and stop sulking.

Kabuto chuckled to himself as he walked leisurely to his lab.

* * *

 **Present**

The sound of the door snaps me out of my sleepy daze. I lift my head off of my pillow expecting to see a blur of silver and white, but instead of Kabuto's form, it was someone else. Dark hair, dark shirt, dark pants.

I squint. Damn Kabuto for forgetting to give me back my glasses.

"Um, no offense but who are you?"

"My name is Uchiha Sasuke." The voice was low and heavily accented. He places something black on the desk.

I snort and let out a loud cackle. "Bull. Shit. What's your real name?"

"...Uchiha Sasuke."

Stubborn one. "Alright, fine. Why are you here Uchiha Sasuke?"

"I'm here to learn. Kabuto sent me. He left you instructions." A blurry hand gestures to the items he placed on the desk which I realize, were my glasses and a note.

First, I put on my glasses and give the person in front of me a good stare.

Sasuke Uchiha. If he were real, he would probably look like the kid in front of me. Handsome, slender, intense glare, and let's not forget the spiky hair. He was a very good looking boy. Suddenly I felt my age. I grew up with Sasuke being one of my many anime crushes and now that I look at him...

"Huh. I thought you'd be taller." I mutter.

I've definitely outgrown him.

"Sasuke" says nothing and just glares at me.

I ignore him and look at the note.

 _Marie,_

 _I'm afraid I'm a little busy at the moment to bring you the reading material that I promised. I will visit you later today. First of all, I apologize again for my behavior last night. I also apologize for taking your glasses with me when I left. They are attached with this letter._

 _The boy in front of you is Sasuke Uchiha. I'm fairly certain that you know a lot about him. For the past few years he has been learning the Western language from me on and off but in recent months I have been too busy with my own duties to continue his teaching._

 _He is almost fluent, the only thing I had left to teach him is proper pronounciation. I want you to engage in conversation with him. I know that sounds difficult given Sasuke's abrasive personality, but I believe that you can do it._

 _I will see you soon,_

 _Yakushi Kabuto_

"Jackass..." I mutter softly, folding the note and putting it back on the desk. Suddenly, I had a very terrible, awful idea.

I face "Sasuke", grinning like an idiot.

"Well, heeeey there Sasuke. How's it goin'?" I let my voice slip into a Southern drawl, one reminiscent of my relatives in Arkansas. Hopefully I can keep this up long enough for him to adopt it. Kabuto wanted me to give him proper pronunciation? Fine.

"Sasuke" says nothing, but he does seem to move a few centimeters away from me.

"Why don't you take a seat right over there, darlin'? We've got a lot of talkin' to do."

He sits down silently and I pull up the stool next to my bed where the medical equipment used to be, although apparently Kabuto removed them all while I was sleeping.

I sit across from the quiet teenage boy and we have a brief staredown.

Suddenly, Sasuke's eyes flash red.

I stop myself from screaming, though I must have looked completely terrified.

Sasuke's face remains neutral.

Okay okay okay. So he has contacts that can change color.

That's a thing. Right? _RIGHT_?

Yeah there's no way.

"I'm ready." he says.

I attempt to calm myself and plaster a smile onto my face.

"Alrighty then, sugar. Listen closely."

* * *

I talk to Sasuke for about an hour, drifting from my normal accent to the exaggerated Southern accent. I noticed as we talked, Sasuke began to mimic my inflections almost perfectly. His accent was slowly becoming less thick and by the end of our conversation, which was just about mundane things about myself, as Sasuke did not want to talk about himself at all. He asked standard questions like where was I from, how old was I, what were my hobbies, as if he had memorized a list before he met me.

I assumed all of these questions were from a lesson plan that I assume Kabuto will eventually give me.

I dared not to mention anything that I knew to Sasuke.

Because oh my god he's actually Sasuke Uchiha. How is that even possible?

That means he must be the real Kabuto. Shit. Shitshitshit.

My brain suddenly replayed every single interaction with Kabuto that I've had so far with special emphasis on our most recent encounter which replayed on a loop in HD.

 _"Maybe I want to touch you..."_

I scramble under my covers and scream into my pillow, my face burning as those words echoed in my mind.

I mean yeah I realize he only said that to get into my pants and gain my trust but the fact that Yakushi Kabuto, a person that exists, and isn't a fictional character, was trying to seduce me for information.

It was just now sinking in.

I roll myself out of bed and adjust my hair, realizing it's been at least two days since I've had a shower. Ew.

And there wasn't any soap or deoderant or shampoo in the bathroom.

Eww.

No toothbrush. No hairbrush.

Ewwwwww..

Thank god there wasn't a mirror. I wouldn't want to touch me right now.

It wasn't too long after Sasuke left that Kabuto returns carrying two giant bags of stuff.

"Please tell me there's soap in there. I can't stand myself anymore." I moan.

Kabuto grins and pulls out and hands me one of the bags. "Here. I also washed your old clothes if you want something clean to wear."

I snatch the contents out of his hand and make a beeline towards the bathroom.

"You don't mind if I...freshen up, do you?"

Kabuto crosses his arms and leans against the desk. "In fact, I insist on it. I'll wait here."

I slide the bathroom door closed, giggling like an idiot.

I set the bag on the counter, pulling out white and fluffy towels and hanging them on the towel rack. There were also white fluffy washcloths. My old clothing was folded neatly at the bottom of the bag. On the other side of the bag, there was a plastic bag filled with essential toiletries: shampoo, soap, toothbrush, toothpaste, deoderant, a hair brush, a bag of hair ties, razors, shaving cream and...tampons.

My eye twitches. I hate wearing tampons. Obviously a man bought this. More than likely, the man standing outside the bathroom.

I sigh heavily as I turn on the shower and strip. I didn't want to have this conversation with him, of all people.

After my refreshing shower, I dress myself in my old clean clothes (he even washed my pink fuzzy socks) and step outside the bathroom a new, clean woman.

"Was everything alright out there? You took quite awhile." remarks Kabuto smugly.

Here it goes.

"Y-yeah, um. There's, ah, a few more things I need, actually." I mumble nervously.

"Oh? I thought as much. There aren't any women on the base at the moment, so I figured I missed a thing or two."

"Well, does...conditioner exist? Please tell me it does."

"Heh. It does. I'll lend you a bottle. Anything else?"

I shut my eyes, because I really don't want to look at him when I say this, "T-two more things, actually. One, I need pads, not tampons. Secondly...I need underwear. It's unsanitary for me to have worn the same damn pair of underwear for several days. Actually, right now I'm not wearing any because I refuse to put on dirty underwear." I open my eyes again and avoid eye contact.

Kabuto lets out a barely audible gasp of arousal and chuckles lazily. "Nothing at all, you say?"

I blush furiously. "D-don't get any perverted ideas, man. Just buy me some damn underwear."

"I'm afraid I've been getting...ideas since we first met. But I understand what you meant. I won't share them with you..unless you want me to."

God, yes. Please.

I open and close my mouth, speechless, and my face feels as if I'm about to explode.

"You're not saying no..." he purrs, drifting closer towards me.

I cough suddenly and take a few steps back. "W-well. I-I just met you after all. It's only proper for a man and woman to get to know one another before they..ah...get to know one another if you know what I mean?"

"Can't we do both?"

Y'know he actually has a good point.

Fuck it. We both want this. I'm stuck here. It's going to happen eventually anyway.

 **[There be a little smut here!]**

 _Fuck it._

I walk towards Kabuto and throw my arms around his neck, crashing my lips onto his. I feel him smile against my mouth as he takes control of the kiss, deepening it as he places his hands at my sides, his fingers ghosting under my tank top, caressing the skin on my stomach.

Kabuto breaks the kiss steps away to remove his glasses. "Afraid you caught me off guard." he says. His breathing is slightly labored, as is mine. After putting his glasses on the desk he reaches for mine, putting them next to his on the desk.

With lightning speed he pushes me towards the bed in a sitting position against the wall, capturing my lips again and pressing himself against me. I moan into his mouth at the sensation.

He breaks the kiss, smirking "I was going to take you to my lab today, but I've decided to do that tomorrow."

"And why is that?" I'm panting. I haven't been this aroused in a very very long time.

"It appears that the subject of my chakra void experiment is so greatly aroused that if I did any tests now, they would be ineffective. Therefore, the only option is to alleviate the arousal myself. Wouldn't you agree?"

I grin and lay myself onto the bed. Kabuto grins and starts to remove his labcoat, slacks and shirt, a revealing a very toned torso. I I leer appreciativly as he places a hand on my exposed stomach and leans down to kiss my own, less toned torso. I take the hint and remove my tank top and he continues to kiss up my chest, his other hand caressing my newly exposed breasts. while he traces his tongue around the nipple of my other breast.

Kabuto stops his ministrations to flip us over to a position where he's lying down and I'm straddling him, with only two thin layers of fabric left between us. I lean down and press my chest against his as we kiss. His hands caress my back as he thrusts upward against me, providing some much needed friction to my aching sex. I echo his movements and his hands drift from my back down to my rear as he guides my pelvis to meet his. I break the kiss to rest my head against his neck as he manages to hit my clit with each movement of his hips.

The only sounds were our labored breathing as we rubbed ourselves against each other, steadily building tempo, until I started to feel the pressure of an orgasm starting to build and explode and I collapse against Kabuto's chest, breathing heavily.

"How close are you?" I murmur between breaths.

"Very."

I press myself against his clothed length, allowing him to set the pace, and held on for the ride, enjoying the aftershock waves of pleasure as he chased his own release, which really was not far behind mine.

 **[End Smut]**

I pull the covers over our half naked bodies, as we attempt to slow our breathing. I feel Kabuto's hands caressing my back and I lean into his chest.

We don't say anything for awhile, because if we did, it would ruin the pleasurable sensational high we were currently feeling. We just cuddled, for lack of a better term.

Finally, I break the silence. "So do you often...um..alleviate the arousal of your experimental test subjects?"

Kabuto snorts in amusement as he plays with a strand of my hair. "You're the first, actually."

"Is there like an...ethics code regulation we're breaking or anything?"

"Not that I'm aware. Afraid you might get me, a S-rank criminal, into trouble?"

I huff. "Well when you put it like that, I suppose there's nothing to worry about, huh?"

Kabuto chuckles as he raises his wrist to check the time. He jolts upward and pushes me aside, dressing frantically.

"What's wrong?" I ask in amusement.

"Meeting with Orochimaru-sama. I'm late." Kabuto says while pulling on his shirt, which made his hair stick up all over the place (though to be fair, it was already messed up to begin with given our previous activities). He pulls on his pants and shoes and grabs his glasses from the desk.

"I'll see you later, okay?" he says, leaning in close to quickly peck me on the lips.

And then he was gone.

I lay back down onto the bed, still half naked. Did that really happen? Did I really get to second base with Kabuto? Or was that third? No, no, third is oral.

I sigh in content, as I doze off into post-orgasmic bliss.

* * *

"Kabuto-kun..."

"Yes, Orochimaru-sama?"

Orochimaru pauses to choose his words. How do you tell your right hand man that he is sporting sex hair without sounding nosy?

"Are you...seeing someone?"

"...why do you ask, Orochimaru-sama?" asks Kabuto.

"Your hair...?"

Kabuto puts his hands on his hair and realizes it's in disarray. "Oh! I thought I fixed that. Apologies, Orochimaru-sama."

"Oh it's none of my business. I was just pointing it out. Usually you are so well put together. I assumed it was a new lover."

The boy laughs a little. "Yeah, I met a girl and things are going well." he smiles sheepishly.

"Obviously. Good for you, then."

"Thank you, Orochimaru-sama."

* * *

Author's note: My previous readers will recognize that last bit from chapter 8 of the old story.

Review and enjoy!


	5. Chapter 5

My delightful nap was brief. At least I think it was. You kind of lose track of time intervals when you don't have a clock. I was probably out for about ten to twenty minutes.

Once I woke up...regret hit me like a bus.

I'm no stranger to making out and having sex with guys I had just met.

I say that, but in reality, I've only had one partner that was a complete stranger to me before we started doing it. The sex was okay and we kept it going for a bit until sneaking him into my bedroom on a regular basis became sort of a hassle. But, yeah I'm no stranger to it.

...This is different. For one, this guy basically kidnapped me, yet I was grinding on him just 2-3 days after the incident.

Well, he's attractive. Very attractive. Unfairly attractive, with his long silver hair, his lithe yet muscled frame, his darkly intense eyes, his deeply tragic backstory, the way he moans when he-

Ahem. I should get my hormones under control ASAP or I'll end up letting him ravish me whenever he wants...though is that really a bad thing? He's really good at it, despite the fact that he's a manipulative bastard who's only doing this to get close to me for information and if I don't I'm probably gonna end up some sort of scientific monstrocity...

I turn over from my side to my stomach and scream into my pillow. How is this my life? He barely touched me and my body's already craving another round.

Ugh ugh _ugh_ why did I decide this was a good idea again? This is not going to end well for me. Or Kabuto, because in the next few months, if I'm not mistaken, he absorbs his boss, gets manipulated by Obito into raising the dead, and as a result, becoming the catalyst for the 4th Great Ninja War. In the end, however, Kabuto does get pardoned and he ends up running the orphanage that found him, while most likely continuing his partnership with Orochimaru.

I always felt really bad for the guy. He didn't deserve any of the crap he was put through. None of the kids from ROOT deserved it. If he hadn't had been recruited into ROOT he probably would have ended up as Tsunade's apprentice instead of Orochimaru's, though that may be wishful thinking on my part. If he hadn't been scouted by Danzo, Kabuto probably wouldn't have the massive identity issues he currently is dealing with. He'd probably be a decent guy, with a team and people who love him.

I could possibly see myself caring for Kabuto, if I gave it enough time. Right now he's still just a character to me. I've yet to get to know Kabuto the man. Maybe I could be his emotional support system? Yeah. I could do that. Maybe it would stop him from going insane.

It's probably a stupid and naive plan, and it's probably a longshot, but maybe I could pull it off? I know how to turn on the charm when necessary.

I push myself off the bed and throw on the tank top that was discarded next to the bed during our make-out session. Geez, I wasn't expecting to get nearly naked with him so quickly.

I pick up my glasses from the desk and check out the second bag of items that Kabuto had brought for me.

It was a big bag of books. Fiction books. In English. Bless Kabuto's little dark heart.

They were mostly mystery novels, with a few shinobi-esque military novels. But that's not what I was gonna read first.

He also included a few Icha Icha books.

I grin so wide that my face hurts.

* * *

I read Icha Icha until I passed out. Who knew that Jiraya knew how to write such a compelling story? And the sex scenes are actually super tasteful. I see why Kakashi loves them so much, though they're probably not good enough to constantly keep reading. That's a little..excessive. I'd love to hear his plot theories and headcanons though. Maybe if I ever meet him we could start a book club.

Kabuto was at the desk, focused on writing what I assume to be a report, when I open my eyes the next 'morning'.

I groan a little, rubbing my eyes. He doesn't react. Hmph. Guess I need to go to him. I pull myself up and out of the bed and walk over towards him.

"Morning. I brought doughnuts." says Kabuto, not looking up from his work. There's a white box sitting next to his papers. I put on my glasses and try to read over his shoulder but it's in Japanese. I frown.

"What's wrong?" he says with an audible sigh. He's still writing.

"Oh, nothing." I say as casually as possible, lifting the lid of the box and grabbing a doughnut, eating it in roughly four bites. "What's the plan for today, hon?" I ask through my chewing.

A small smile ghosts Kabuto's lips. "I've never heard that term of endearment before."

"Honestly, I'm surprised you speak English as well as you do."

"I started learning Western at age 5, when I was recruited into the ROOT operative program so I could go on missions overseas and blend in perfectly with the locals. And I did, along with a couple of other languages and dialects."

My eyes sparkle with interest. "Oooh you can do accents too? Can you give me an example?"

"Actually I can do one other Western accent, but I'm not as proficient with it as I am the one I prefer speaking. I was taught both simultaneously, but for some reason I could never master this one." he replies in a passable standard British accent.

"How long has it been since you've had to use 'Western'?"

"I record all of my research notes in Western, actually. No one on the base speaks it as well as I do, so my notes are essentially encrypted. I also read Western literature pretty frequently. Most of the books I gave you are from my own personal library."

"A man after my own heart, I see. So, there's definitely a bunch of slang terms that you don't understand or do you try and keep up with that too?"

Kabuto shrugs. "Sometimes I do, sometimes I don't. I'm sure you can teach me a few new words, hmm?" He stops writing and clips his pen to his lab-coat, putting away his work neatly into a file.

"Well, I'm teaching Sasuke how to talk American already, what's one more student? Speaking of which...am I getting a lesson plan or anything? I forgot to ask earlier." I blush faintly.

"It's at my apartment. We can pick it up after we finish in the lab."

I freeze. I've been a little anxious about my first lab visit. By a 'little' anxious, I mean I've been dreading stepping foot into that place since the moment I got here. Well, less so since I realized Kabuto was the real deal, but he still experiments on people.

" _Awesome_." I say sullenly.

Kabuto frowns. "What's wrong?"

I laugh nervously. "It's nothing, nothing at all. I'm just _awesome_. I'm gonna...go wash up. Yup. Be right back."

And then I run to the bathroom and lock myself inside.

Because I'm a coward. I didn't want to be poked and prodded at. I didn't want weird formulas introduced to my bloodstream. I didn't want to be mutated into a weapon.

I turn on the faucet and lean on the door for extra support against the inevitable onslaught.

After awhile, the door clicks open and I fall flat on my back, my head landing on Kabuto's feet. I stare up at him nervously. Of course he had a way to open the door. He sighs and hoists me up into his arms bridal style.

"I figured you'd try and run away." he says, kissing my forehead. "Unfortunately, this isn't something you can run away from."

I struggle a little, but Kabuto maintains his firm hold on me. Obviously he's channeling some sort of chakra strength enhancement because his grip is iron clad.

"Let me down! I don't wanna go to the laaab! I don't wanna become a mutant freak of nature!" I whine, flailing my legs wildly to no avail.

Kabuto barks out a laugh. "I hate to break it to you, but you're already a freak of nature without my interference. Secondly, you have nothing to worry about right now, all we're doing today is running you through the MRI and getting a fresh blood and DNA sample." His voice drops to a quiet seductive purr in my ear, "Also if you cooperate, I will reward you quite nicely."

I stop struggling. I'm guessing the reward is something sexual, but I ask anyway.

"What...sort of reward?"

"Welllll...since you and I have come to an...arrangement. I thought you might want to share my apartment and freedom to explore the base and outside at your leisure. That is, if you cooperate with my study."

Okay. That was not what I was expecting. It's an attractive offer. I could get out of this tiny room, I could possibly go outside and explore. I get a furnished apartment with a roommate that I can possibly bang on a regular basis. What's the catch? There has to be a catch.

Fuck it. I need to stretch my legs. I'm taking the deal and let future!Marie deal with the catch.

"Kabuto Yakushi. Are you asking lil ol' me to move in with you? You sure do move fast." I say, turning my Southern charm up to 11 (hopefully)

"It's only a logical solution to several issues that both you and I are currently experiencing. You don't have to if you don't want to."

"Oh, I _definitely_ want to."

* * *

Author's note: So far, the collective response to this story has ranged from positive to non-existent. C'mon, guys! Have I improved? Do you like the old story better? Did you hate both of them? I've learned that talking to strangers about this story really helps my creative muse.

Anyway. Review and enjoy!


	6. Chapter 6

Before we left for the lab, I packed up what little items I had acquired over the past few days and placed them in the bags that Kabuto provided. A minion was apparently going to deliver them to Kabuto's apartment, or rather...our apartment.

My anxiety about going to Kabuto's lab was still in full swing, but I really want to get out of my cell, so I swallowed my fear and let Kabuto lead me to his research lab.

Kabuto's research lab is less creepy than I imagined. It just looked...normal. And way outdated. The computers look like they were running on Windows 95.

"So...uh. What do you want me to do?" I ask, wringing my hands nervously.

"Well, first we're going to run you through this machine here." says Kabuto, gesturing to the very low-tech MRI machine that looks to be about a million years old.

"Is...it safe?"

"Of course it's safe. Now, go on, hop in! It's not going to collapse on you or anything."

I groan and do as I'm told. He was not helping my anxiety at all especially with that comment.

The machine whirs to life and I shut my eyes and attempt to control my breathing. This isn't a big deal, nope. Just scanning my brain. Yup.

I squeeze my eyes tighter and clench my fists. After awhile the machine stops and I scoot myself out of the claustrophobic nightmare.

"See? Now that wasn't so bad was it?" Kabuto is sitting by the machine, typing something into the system with a stupid grin on his face. He's enjoying my discomfort.

Douchebag.

I glare at him. "Yes it was."

He laughs and stops typing, taking my hand into his and squeezing it in what I assume was meant to be reassuring but the gesture felt more condescending than anything else.

"Now what?"

"I have to set up the computer to analyze the data."

I frown. "Why do you have such outdated tech?"

Kabuto blinks. "Outdated? This is cutting edge technology."

I snort. "Yeah, like twenty years ago."

"Maybe in your reality. Here, this is the latest in research tech. Now, sit over in that chair where the medical supplies are located and I'll be with you in a few minutes." He brushes his lips against my palm before releasing my hand and starts typing.

I do as I'm told and sit next to the medical supplies. I know what's coming next. I'm not the biggest fan of needles, but my fear of them has lessened as I got older and I could even give blood now without freaking out, unless the person doing the stabbing decides to wiggle the needle into my vein instead of just sticking it in like a normal person. I hope Kabuto isn't one of those people. He probably is. Ugh.

I watch Kabuto work. He looks good today, the lab coat really works for him, especially with the sleeves rolled up. His fingers move quickly across the keyboard and his dark eyes are intense and focused on the screen. Occasionally, his tongue will dart out to moisten his drying lips. I wonder if he knows I'm oggling him like a stalker. If he does, he doesn't comment.

Finally, he finishes typing and looks at me to give me a small smile. "And now I wait." he says as he gets out of the chair and walks to the medical supplies.

"How long?" I ask.

"Oh, a few hours. Just enough time to help you move in. Now, let's get that blood and DNA sample." He pulls on a pair of latex gloves and hands me a q-tip. "Swab the inside of your cheek with this, please." I take the Q-tip from him and follow his instructions, handing him the Q-tip after I finish. He pulls out a small machine that is hooked up to another computer, dropping the Q-tip into the machine and pressing a button, typing instructions into the hooked up machine. There's a second computer right next to it, which I assume is for the blood sample. (a/n: I have no idea how this process works. I may be the child of two nurses, but this is all speculation for me because I am terrified of hospital labs)

After some typing, Kabuto replaces his latex gloves and gets out the supplies that he needs for drawing my blood. I sigh and hold out my right arm. He smiles.

"You're familiar with the process, I see."

I sigh. "Yeah. Just get it over with so we can go home."

There isn't any pain when he sticks the needle into my arm and it doesn't take long for him to get the blood that he needs, covering the puncture wound with a small bandaid once he finishes.

He puts the vial in a fridge of other vials and takes off his gloves and disposes of them in the appropriate bin. Clapping his hands together, he nods at me and says "Ready to get out of here?"

"Christ, yes."

* * *

We get out of the lab and I feel as if I can breathe again. I walk with a skip in my step down the dark hallway. Kabuto looks at me with an amused expression.

"It wasn't as awful as you anticipated, was it?"

I shrug. "Labs in general are uncomfortable to me. Not sure why. One of the many many reasons I'm not in the medical field. So how far away is your apartment?"

"Not far. This is one of our smaller bases."

I blink. "You have...multiple bases?"

"Of course. This is the main one that Orochimaru-sama and I reside in, however. Occasionally I'll make trips to the other bases, but I rarely make overnight trips."

"I...see."

We walk in silence for awhile until finally Kabuto stops at a door, reaches into his pocket and pulls out a key to unlock the door. When the door opens he gestures for me to go inside first.

Kabuto's apartment is clean. Too clean. The living room has a very comfortable couch with a TV and a VCR player. Next to the TV is a medium sized shelf with a collection of tapes. Next to that shelf is a larger shelf filled with books. My bags were placed next to the couch, ready to open.

The kitchen is connected to the living room, with a fridge, a stove, a microwave and a dishwasher. There isn't a table, instead there is a bar counter with stools that separates the living room and the kitchen.

"Obviously this is the living area and kitchen. That room over there is my office and the room next to it is our bedroom and the bathroom."

I look at Kabuto and raise an eyebrow. "Our bedroom, you say?"

He steps closer to me, taking my hand into his, and intertwining our fingers. "That's right. Would you like to see?"

I nod and he leads me to the bedroom.

The bedroom is also simple, with a grey bedspread and simple furniture, all standard issue, though the bed is king sized and looks epically comfortable. I let go of Kabuto's hand and lay down on the bed, sighing happily, taking off my glasses and placing them on the headboard so I could roll around without fear of breakage. Kabuto grins. "You approve?"

"Mhmmm..."I moan happily. Kabuto takes off his labcoat and hangs it on the coathanger loop on the door. He then takes off his glasses and places them on top of the headboard. I scoot over to make room for him and he joins me on the bed.

I immediately lay my head on his chest and he strokes my head absently.

"So what do you think?" Kabuto asks softly.

"Of the apartment?"

"Yeah."

"It looks barely lived in. You're not here a lot, are you?"

"If I am I'm in my office or in bed. But no, usually I am elsewhere."

"Can I see your office?"

Kabuto sighs. "Maybe in a little while."

I giggle. "Too comfortable to move?"

"Something like that."

"Didn't take you for a cuddler." I try to hide the amusement in my voice.

"Shhh. Don't tell anyone. My reputation as Otokagure's most ruthless spy would be ruined."

"Hmmm. I may be persuaded to keep silent. It'll cost ya though."

Kabuto chuckles. "I'm sure we can come to some sort of agreement." he leans forward and kisses my lips lightly.

I pull him in for another kiss and we make out lazily for awhile.

"So...about that office tour.."

* * *

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	7. Chapter 7

_Experiment Report_

 _prepared by Yakushi Kabuto, head operative of Otokagure_

 _A chakra void anomaly was detected north of the main base. When I investigated, I was surprised to find a young female instead of a tear of void energy. Suspect is of non Elemental Nations origin and speaks the language of the Western Continent. As protocol dictates, I brought the subject to a quarantined location for further study. There, I gathered the following personal information:_

 _Name: Marie Ann Baxter_

 _Date of Birth: 26 May 1993 (25 years old, year format unknown)_

 _Nationality: American(country does not exist on our maps)_

 _Height:165cm_

 _Weight:**kg_

 _Blood type: A-_

 _Occupation: Student of history_

 _It is possible the subject is lying about her origins, but I discovered something quite fascinating during my initial interrogation: she recognized my name. That in itself is not odd, but she further accused me of masquerading as a fictional character from a popular comic series._

 _A second interrogation session revealed that she had knowledge of extremely classified information pertaining to my own personal history. It is unclear what other secrets she holds, but I am currently taking steps to obtain this information via seduction methods, to which she has proven very susceptible. Further reports will be filed when new information is obtained._

 _Further tests in the lab indicates the subject is a completely ordinary human female, only without the ability to produce chakra. Scans of her brain indicate a deficit in attention receptors but otherwise she is perfectly healthy. DNA tests are inconclusive, as they do not match anything we have ever collected._

 _END REPORT_

"Fascinating" murmurs Orochimaru. "Is this the aforementioned 'girl' you met the other day?"

Kabuto nods. "Yes, Orochimaru-sama."

"Hmmm..Usually you don't volunteer for these sorts of missions."

"You're right, sir. But I realized that I was the perfect shinobi for the job. I'm the closest in age to the target and the information that she possesses could be extremely important and classified."

"And why do you say that, Kabuto-kun?"

Kabuto lowers his voice. "Sir, she knows about ROOT. She's a foreign civilian who most likely doesn't originate from our reality at all. But yet she knows about a top secret sect in Konoha's ANBU; she knew my name upon hearing it and she mentioned the name of the nine tales biju, who is apparently the main character of the story."

Orochimaru chuckles. "Well, that is interesting. I trust your judgment in this matter, Kabuto-kun. I expect regular updates."

Kabuto bows. "Yes, Orochimaru-sama."

Kabuto had left after showing me his very clean office that included a very dated PC and a very extensive collection of medical books in Japanese.

* * *

After I put up my stuff, I decided to do some snooping. Kabuto is definitely up to something. I'm not an idiot; I know he's only being nice to me because he wants me to spill the beans on what I know. He's a damn spy, it's what he does.

I look through his office papers, and of course they're all in Japanese. Same with the books in his library. The books in the living room are in English, but they're fiction and alphabetized by author's last name.

Well, I mean he asked me to move in. I expect he felt as if he made sure there weren't any sort of sensitive information lying around in his apartment.

I flop on the couch in defeat. There's not much I can really do except play dumb and catch him off guard when he starts interrogating me, but who knows when that will be? How would I confront him? I'm the worst actress in existence. Though, I've made it this far, maybe I'll be okay.

Maybe if I keep repeating 'I'll be okay' in my head over and over again, maybe I'll believe it.

I put my head in my hands. My situation was pretty helpless. Here I was, trapped in what seems to be an alternate universe. I can't defend myself, I don't speak the language, and the only person I have contact with is a (handsome) man that enjoys experimenting on humans in his spare time.

What the hell am I supposed to do? I hate just sitting here and not knowing what's going to happen to me. I grit my teeth and stand up. First, I need to shower. Maybe the hot water will help my brain flow.

The hot water only made me lethargic, but at least I was clean and my legs, armpits and nether regions were now nice and hairless. I dress myself in one of Kabuto's shirts with a pair of his boxers. Maybe if I'm lucky, when Kabuto gets home, he'll be in the mood. Though, if he isn't, I'm pretty certain I could convince him otherwise. He seems about as sexually repressed as I am and that's saying something.

Alright, sexy. I can be sexy. I think I remember how. I'm already wearing my target's shirt and underwear. Guys still find that hot, right? Now all I have to do is wait for him to come home. I grab an Icha Icha book and wait for my prey.

* * *

Kabuto unlocks the door to his apartment. Today's meeting went well, he thinks. Marie's all settled in and it'll only be a matter of time before he'll be able to convince her to tell him everything she knows.

The moment he opens the door, Marie is standing right in front of him, looping her arms around his neck and crashing her lips onto his.

Well...he wasn't expecting _that_.

* * *

Author's note: Yeah, it's short, but I wanted a separate chapter for smut.

Review and enjoy!


	8. Chapter 8

Author's note: This entire chapter is mostly smut with some fluff at the end.

* * *

Kabuto breaks the kiss and looks at me in surprise.

"Not that I'm complaining, but what was that for?"

"You're a smart guy. Figure it out." I answer coyly with a wink.

"Hmm.." Kabuto leans into the curve of my shoulder and brushes his lips against my neck, slamming the door shut with one of his legs.

"Can't figure it out?" I tease.

Kabuto chuckles against my neck. "No, no. I think I understand." Then he grabs my hands from around his neck and untangles himself from my grasp, leaving one of my hands in his own and leads me to his bedroom, shutting the door behind us.

He sheds his lab coat and glasses (I had already taken off my own earlier. Sex is easier to initiate if eyewear isn't an issue y'know?) and pulls me towards him, lips crashing against mine fiercely as he gravitates us towards the bed.

I break the kiss and sit on the bed. Kabuto sits behind me and starts planting kisses on my neck that start off light but grow in intensity once he finds the most sensitive area on my neck, making me gasp in pleasure. His hands snake under the hem of my shirt caressing the skin of my stomach beneath.

I turn around and straddle him, and his hands move to my back as we kiss again. I grind my pelvis against his and he moans into my mouth allowing for my tongue to slip its way inside his mouth. His tongue touches mine and there are fireworks and I realize there are way too many clothes between us right now so I slip my hands under his shirt and pull upward.

Kabuto gets the message and breaks the kiss to remove his shirt as I remove mine. He pushes me into my back as his lips get reacquainted with my neck while one of his hands touches a breast, using the pad of his thumb to massage the already hardening nipple. His other hand repeats the action with the other breast. His lips move to my collarbone, then down to one of the hardened nipples. I arch into him as he begins to suck, feeling jolts of pleasure strike my core every time he sucks inward.

He repeats his actions with the other breast before returning to my lips. His hands rest on my hips and his thumbs reach under the waistband teasing the skin there. My hands fly to his pants, as I move to pull them off of him, underwear and all.

Kabuto breaks the kiss to chuckle. "Eager, are we?"

"Oh shut up. You need this as much as I do. Maybe even moreso."

"Mm. Debatable." He rips off the boxers I was wearing in an instant before helping me remove the rest of his clothing. His hands slide down to my core, testing my readiness.

"You shave down there?" he asks.

"You couldn't see it when you tore off the boxers?"

"Well, no. I'm almost blind without my glasses. I have to rely on touch." He emphasizes this by sliding a finger inside of me, then another. I was ready.

Kabuto pulls his fingers out of me and starts making quick hand signs. His hands glow and he grabs a hold of his length which also starts to glow.

My eyes bug out of my sockets. "Oh. My. God. Is that a chakra condom?"

Kabuto doesn't answer. He just rolls his eyes and positions himself at my entrance, allowing the head to slip inside me before slowly sinking the rest inside. We both gasp at the sensation. I move forward to engage him in a intense kiss, wiggling my hips to indicate that he could go ahead and start moving.

The pace starts out slow and leisurely. My legs are entangled with his legs and my arms are clinging to his back. Kabuto slides in slowly, hits that spot, and slides out even slower.

I grit my teeth. "You know you can go faster. I'm not going to break."

Kabuto gives me an infuriating smirk. "Wound up, are we?" He circles his hips as he starts sliding into me a little harder and faster, but still too slow for my liking. "Like that?"

I buck my hips upward and my hands drift to his rear, in an attempt to control the pace but alas his ass would not cooperate. I didn't realize how much of a troll Kabuto would be in bed.

"I guess you need this more than me after all, hm?"

"Just shut up and fuck me."

"Heh. I can do that." Kabuto starts to pick up speed and he starts to hit that spot with 100% accuracy over and over again. I shut my eyes and let the tidal wave of pleasure overtake me. He's breathing much heavier now but he still maintains a blinding pace as he pushes a pleasurable aftershock before the wave starts building again. I lost count how many times I was pushed over the edge. Two...maybe three?

Then he slams into me a final time with a shuddering breath. I feel him deflate inside of me as he pulls out and collapses on top of me.

We lay together in silence with our legs intertwined, enjoying the feel of each other's skin against each other, both of us breathing heavily. Kabuto rests his face in the crook of my neck.

"Next time...I'm on top." I pant between breaths.

"Was I not adequate? I did make you scream at the end there."

I didn't even notice. It must have been involuntary.

"No, no it was fantastic. You're just a god damn tease."

Kabuto chuckles darkly. "Oh, that wasn't teasing. I'll show you teasing later after you do it your way."

"Tomorrow. I think that's enough mind blowing sex for one day."

"If you say so. The night is quite young."

"What time is it?" I ask.

"7:30pm. We can look over Sasuke-kun's lesson plan for tomorrow's session if you wish."

"Naked? In bed?"

Kabuto shrugs. "If you want. However I must have my glasses. I have to see."

He pushes himself off of me and retrieves his glasses, putting them on and handing me my own glasses. He then gets up out of bed and leaves the bedroom, returning with several books.

I wrap the covers around myself and sit up. Kabuto joins me under the covers, which pool around his waist seductively.

"You know...I think I should start learning Japanese."

"What's Japanese?"

"The, um, native language."

"You mean Eastern?"

"Yeah."

Kabuto smiles. "I was hoping you'd say that. One moment."

He places the other books aside neatly on the head board and leaves the room yet again, returning with another set of books.

"We can have your first lesson right now."

"Naked? In bed?"

"Why not?"

* * *

Review and enjoy!


	9. Chapter 9

Author's note: This is another smutty interlude, so it's easily ignored. I'm probably not gonna write a lot of smut for awhile after this, haha.

* * *

"I don't get it."

"What don't you get about it?"

"Why is the verb over there after the subject?"

"Because that's how the grammar works?"

"It's stupid."

Kabuto sighs deeply and buries his face in my hair. I was turning out to be the worst language student ever, though it may be because I had a distracting instructor whose bare chest I was currently leaning on.

"It's not stupid." he assures. .His lips graze the back of my neck softly, making me shiver in response.

I turn around and take off his glasses, which were already getting caught in my hair. I hand them back to him, gazing into his eyes intensely.

"It is stupid." I say.

Kabuto leans closer to me, merely centimeters between us. "Not stupid." he whispers before closing the distance between our lips, putting his glasses out of harm's way on the headboard.

I moan into his mouth and he pulls me closer as I straddle him. I feel his length hardening against me and I press myself against it which elicits a strangled moan from Kabuto.

He breaks the kiss quickly. "One moment." He gathers the Japanese lesson materials and puts them out of harms way and resumes kissing me. Behind my back, I feel him making handsigns for that condom jutsu that he performed last time.

I grab ahold of his length and guide it inside, relishing in the feeling.

"So...I gotta ask." I say, as my hips start to set a fairly brisk pace. This was going to be hard and fast, unlike last time. "Did you develop that technique yourself?"

"I did." Kabuto lets his hands drift to my rear as he thrusts upwards to meet the set tempo.

"That's...kinda hot."

Kabuto laughs breathlessly.

I feel myself getting tired, so my pace starts to slow down a bit. Kabuto flips us over and takes over, burying his face into my shoulder as he steadily quickens the pace of his thrusts until I feel him pulse inside of me.

He kisses my bare shoulder as he pulls out.

"I didn't feel you finish." he murmurs between breaths.

"I didn't."

"...I see. Let me rectify that." His mouth begins to kiss his way downwards, stopping at my neck for awhile before trailing downwards, between my chest, down my stomach and finally he arrives between my legs. He kisses my inner thigh, making me squirm in anticipation. Then he begins to lick my core, swirling his tongue around my clit. I bury my hands into his hair as he begins to lick faster and faster until I saw stars, but he doesn't stop until he pushes me into a second orgasm and my body collapses bonelessly onto the bed.

He brings himself to eye level smugly and pulls me into a kiss, tongue swirling against mine, tasting like me.

We're both breathing heavily when the kiss breaks.

"I...think I want to sleep now."

Kabuto smirks. "We have got to work on your stamina."

"Well not all of us can be ninjas. Sheesh."


	10. Chapter 10

Author's note: So I don't have a computer anymore so goodbye fancy formatting. That being said I didn't have a computer when I originally wrote The Subject so that isn't a big deal. Shout out to ManicSkies for reviewing and leaving opinions. I hope this chapter helps with unanswered questions!

* * *

I wake from my sex induced coma alone. I grab my glasses from the nightstand. There's a note next to them.

"Marie,

On the kitchen counter, there is a map of the base. Feel free to explore, but remember you also have to tutor Uchiha Sasuke at 10am As far as lesson planning goes, just try and get him to talk about himself. I know, I know, that sounds impossible, but he needs to practice speaking. Please make use of the kitchen. It is well stocked and I'm sure you can find something of your liking to eat. I will not be back until very late tonight.

⁃Yakushi Kabuto"

I put on my glasses and check the clock above the closet: 8am. I had slept for over 12 hours. Ever since coming here, my sleep has been very sporadic, especially since I had absolutely no way to tell time. Plus, that bed was super uncomfortable. This bed was more like the one I have back home, especially with the bookshelf headboard. I turn over on my stomach and browse the books that Kabuto kept behind his bed. Sadly, they were mostly in Eastern, except for the "Eastern for Idiots" book that Kabuto brought out last night. Hmph. The other books looked like textbooks and technique manuals, given their drab appearance. So he reads work related books before bed. Kabuto really did need to get laid. I chuckle to myself. It's been about three years since I've had sex, so I'm surprised I still had it.

I stretch my limbs and sit up in the bed. All of the clothing that was shed during our encounter were gone. A simple outfit was folded on the dresser with the added bonus of the underwear that I was wearing when I was transported here folded on top of the outfit, obviously clean. I'm assuming that Kabuto laid them out for me. I really had to get some clothes of my own if I'm stuck here.

Stuck...am I really stuck here?

I'm still not fully convinced that this isn't all a very long, very vivid dream or extended hallucination Everything feels real (last night DEFINITELY felt real) but I've never been on hallucinogenic drugs before so I can't rule that out.

I try and wave these thoughts away from my head as I get out of bed and dress myself. I can't start dwelling on shit I can't control. If I do that, my anxiety is gonna spike to dangerous levels. Right now, I need to focus on what I can do right now.

Right now...I need to eat and start plotting out a way to get a sullen teenage boy to talk about himself.

The kitchen had generic cornflake cereal with milk and sugar. Sure enough, there was a map of the base and the areas around the base. Sasuke's apartment wasn't too far away from mine.

I had two hours to kill, so I decided to go outside for some fresh air. The weather was nice and it was the first time I had been out since I was picked up. I even brought out Icha Icha for some nice reading time under a tree or something.

Instead I found Sasuke training with a katana. He didn't seem to care that I was watching him so I sat a safe distance and pretended to read.

After a little while, he approaches me. "Lessons aren't for a'nother hour."

His accent was almost native. I try to hold in my surprise.

"I know. I just wanted to read for awhile and somehow I found you so I just decided to hang out for a bit if that's alright with you."

Sasuke shrugs. "S' fine I guess as long as ya keep yer distance."

I try to hide my grin with Icha Icha. His accent had turned out so adorable. Good job, me.

I see Sasuke eye the book I was reading. His eyebrows raise and he walks off muttering something about "Kakashi-sensei" in his native tongue.

So I watch Sasuke train for an hour. It was really interesting at first but after awhile I started to get kind of bored and I actually started reading instead of watching him train.

Afterwards I offer him a seat next to me, marking my place in Icha Icha for later.

"So, Sasuke. You up to having class outside?"

Sasuke shrugs in indifference. C'mon kid, show some enthusiasm.

"Well it's a lovely day so we're having class outside. Anyway. Last time all you did was listen to me talk, now it's time for me to hear you talk."

"'bout what?"

I pause to consider. I currently have Sasuke Uchiha at my mercy. What do I want for him to talk about?

"So, tell me, Sasuke. Do you have any siblings?" REALLY MARIE WHY WOULD YOU START WITH THIS? WHY ARE YOU SO STUPID?

"Yeah."

"Brother? Sister? Older? Younger? I have a little sister. She's already married and she's studying to be a doctor."

"Have an older brother."

"Do you two...get along?"

"..No."

"Why not?"

Sasuke gives me an Uchiha glare. "He killed my clan. Everyone. Except me."

I pretend to look shocked.

"Why?"

Sasuke narrows his eyes angrily. "You're faking. I can tell. Ya already knew about this didn' ya?"

I sigh. "Yeah. I know about the Uchiha massacre."

"Then why ask if I had any siblings?"

"Sasuke, hon. Fratricide isn't healthy."

"He killed our family. Therefore I must seek vengeance."

"Well...yes, he did. But did you ever consider there may be more to the incident?"

"Like what?"

"I dunno. Maybe he didn't do it alone? Ever think of that? Maybe he was under orders."

"He still killed them."

Ugh. I don't want to come right out and say "The Uchiha Massacre was caused by Danzō and Itachi had no choice. Oh, and your bro's terminally ill. I'm just saying y'all should make amends" so I drop the subject completely. He probably wouldn't listen to me anyway, the stubborn kid.

"Fine." I sigh in defeat. "Whatever. Don't listen to me."

Sasuke glares at me. There's a hint of curiosity in his gaze, but he keeps silent.

"What?" I exclaim.

"Why are ya trying to justify my brother's actions?"

I don't meet his eyes. "I'm not."

"Ya are. 'm told ya know things."

"And who told you that bullshit?" Rhetorical question. He told Sasuke. Because of course he did.

"Kabuto."

I snort. "And you believed him? Sasuke, dear. Kabuto is not a reliable source of information. He's a god damn spy. Backstabbing is what he does."

"An' how do ya know that? Aren'tchya one of his experiments? I doubt he's told ya anything about himself."

"Who told you I was one of his experiments?"

"He did. Also ya have no chakra network. 'm not an idiot."

I clench my teeth. What do I tell him?

"I...know things. About certain people Don't ask me how, because if I try and explain it, I'll sound like a liar and I'm not lying."

Sasuke looks at me skeptically. "Prove it."

"Uhhh. You and Naruto once kissed by accident at the academy. You like tomatoes. Itachi used to poke your forehead as a sign of affection. Sakura begged to come with you when you left your village but you knocked her out and left without her. You think you have never seen Kakashi's face but in fact you have seen it."

Sasuke blinks. "...I have?"

"Remember Sukea? That was Kakashi in disguise!"

Sasuke curses loudly in his native language. "I KNEW there was somethin' off about that bastard."

"So I've convinced you?"

"Not really. However ya do seem to believe it and Kabuto seems to believe ya hold some pretty important secrets. You've only told me trivial things that could easily be discovered."

I raise an eyebrow. "I've given you some hints. Whether or not you believe them is your business."

"Hn. Whatever."

* * *

Review and enjoy!


	11. Chapter 11

Author's note: Wasn't planning on writing another chapter so soon but here it is! Also I'm almost to 20k! Maybe I'll attract a new crop of readers!

* * *

I spent the rest of my lesson with Sasuke attempting to make awkward small talk. After the intense conversation we had earlier, I wasn't willing to push any harder than I needed to and he wasn't willing to talk much to me either. Neither of us were in much of a talking mood.

I made my way back to the apartment deep in thought about the current timeframe I was in. It was definitely early Shippuden, possibly before the Suna situation. Hopefully before the Suna situation. I really don't want to deal with Team 7 invading the base any time soon. I knew Kabuto would tell me jack squat.

I could allude to what I knew about current events but that may get me in trouble, shattering the façade Kabuto and I had set up between each other. I had worked long and hard on my charm offensive and if I broke it now I may end up in a less than pleasing situation.

I couldn't trust Kabuto with what I knew. Not while he was still Orochimaru's subordinate. I would have to wait until Orochimaru dies, which could be months from now.

Ugh ugh ugh. This is going to be difficult. I would need to find a way to distract myself from all of this or I'll totally give something away.

I turn on the tv and flip through the channels. There was only one channel in English, playing a horrible horrible period soap opera about a mage and a Templar in love. Apparently in the old days on the Western continent, much like the Catholic Church in my reality, religion ruled all and those who had a lot of magic were sent to towers so they could be watched. The acting was atrocious and I almost turned it off but there was nothing else to watch so I kept the channel on, in an attempt to learn some of the Western continent culture. I didn't. The show was basically what would happen if the CW made a teen period drama about magic people and hired the dullest, pettiest writers imaginable. The next show wasn't any better, as it was a procedural cop show that wasn't interesting at all, though the acting was better. The writing was not. One liners and catch phrases galore, with car chases for extra snooze.

Seems like the Western continent is very VERY similar to America in the late 80s to early 90s, only with wands instead of guns. Finally after the CSI ripoff, I had had enough. I turned off the TV and started flipping through Kabuto's VCR collection. There, I found...the first two seasons of the X-Files. Not a rip off. The X-Files created by Chris Carter, starring David Duchovny and Gillian Anderson. Finally some quality entertainment. I happily pop the first tape in the VCR and turn off all the lights. So Kabuto's a fan, huh?

It was close to midnight when the door opens and Kabuto slinks in wearing his super secret spy meeting cloak. I pause the tv and turn on the lamp and greet my fake boyfriend/roommate with a small wave.

"I didn't think you'd be up this late." comments Kabuto.

"Oh, I'm a night owl. Also there's no sleeping when the truth is out there just WAITING to be discovered."

Kabuto looks at the paused tv and laughs. "Ah, I see." He joins me on the couch. "Do you mind restarting the episode? I think I have it in me for at least one."

I chuckle."It's too bad you only have seasons one and two. My favorite episodes aren't until later seasons. Though season 2 does have that freaky cannibal tribe in Arkansas, though it's probably not called Arkansas in this version is it?"

Kabuto looks at me curiously. "There are...more than two seasons? The third season is airing currently."

I laugh and lay my head on Kabuto's shoulder. I guess that means that I'm in some alternate universe where the year is currently 1995 or some equivalent.

More importantly, Kabuto is currently wearing the cloak that he was wearing while conducting the secret meetings with Sasori under the guise of being his sleeper agent. I really wanted to ask him, but I think I'll wait til TV time is over.

After the episode, Kabuto and I head to the bathroom to clean up before bed. He strips immediately and steps into the shower, turning on the water.

"You can join me, if you wish." he says.

I shake my head. "Maybe later. I'm a little drained from dealing with Sasuke." I turn on the sink and start washing my face.

"Oh, how'd that go, by the way?"

I groan. "On the plus side, he's very close to sounding like a native. On the downside...I may have pissed him off."

"Ahhh, Sasuke-kun is so easily provoked. I'm guessing you asked about his brother?"

"Sort of. How about your day? How'd your super secret spy meeting with Sasori go?"

Shit. I said that out loud.

"...Excuse me? What did you say, Marie-chan?" Kabuto's voice is overly polite and dangerous.

"Oh um. I just asked you how your super secret spy meeting went? That cloak you were wearing was made for shady deals."

The water turns off and Kabuto steps out, shampoo still in his hair.

"Oh no no no, Marie-chan. I heard a name."

He's smiling, but it's a cruel smile devoid of warmth.

"D-did you? Surely not. I mean I've been cooped up in here for so long and you must be reaaaally tired so you might have imagined it."

"Tsk tsk tsk, Marie-chan. I know what I heard." Kabuto leans closer to me, still smiling dangerously.

I hadn't seen this side of him since the first day we met. I mean I knew this was what he was like most of the time...like always, I just repressed it.

I squeeze my eyes shut. "Sasori. I said Sasori."

"That's Sasori-sama to you, my dear. And you are wrong. My next rendezvous with him is not for another week or so. This was merely a routine inspection of the other bases."

He leans in closer, kissing my lips gently before heading back into the shower.

I let out the breath I was holding, and started brushing my teeth at max speed before retreating to the bed.

Shit shit shit shit.

I was lured into a false sense of security and now Kabuto knows that I possibly know about Sasori and his meetings with Sasori.

Why am I so stupid? Now Kabuto is going to want to know specifics when he gets out. This man is a master of torture and god knows what he's going to do to me when he gets out of the bathroom.

I can't run. He'd catch me. I can't hide. This is his apartment. I'm trapped.

The door opens and Kabuto walks out in nothing but boxer shorts. His hair is slightly damp. I pull the covers over myself tighter as he takes his side of the bed.

"I'm not going to hurt you." he says softly.

"I-I don't believe you." I whisper weakly.

"No witty remark this time?" His time is still soft, but there's a hint of amusement.

I don't say anything, just curl into a ball of fear. Tears prick my eyes.

"I'm sorry if I scared you. It won't happen again."

My shoulders slump and I find my voice. "It was a genuine reaction. You don't need to apologize. I forgot who you were for a moment is all."

"Oh? Who am I, then?"

I emerge from the covers. Kabuto's face has lost its manic cruelty and has been replaced with false concern. He's controlling his creepier tendencies. I suppose I can speak my mind.

"You're a man that has taken on so many identities in his life, he's forgotten which one is his own. Right now, you're pretending to be Yakushi Kabuto, the kind and gentle boyfriend. Earlier you were Yakushi Kabuto, top subordinate of Orochimaru-sama, a cruel man with a love of torture and inflicting pain. Truth is, neither of those are you but both are a part of you, if that makes any sense."

If Kabuto is surprised, it doesn't show on his face. He keeps his expression neutral as he stands up to turn off all the lights.

"Goodnight, Marie."

* * *

Review and enjoy!


	12. Chapter 12

Things were not going according to plan.

Kabuto mentally kicks himself. He severely broke character in front of the target due to his exhaustion from today's mission. How could he be so careless?

Now Marie will probably close herself off mentally and physically out of fear. It's not as if Kabuto's given her any real reason to trust him yet. One week of work down the drain and now he's probably going to have to start from scratch. Probably. Surely he could salvage this.

Marie was probably on to him from the start, given the tiny little insight she shared mere minutes earlier.

He should be the one to make the first move. Gently. Something affectionate to reassure her that he didn't have any ill intent towards her. She was too weak to torture properly anyway. Kabuto squeezes his eyes shut and waves that stray thought away. Telling Marie that was one sure way of never getting her to speak to him willingly again.

All right. He could do this. He was Yakushi fucking Kabuto after all. Whatever that implied, he didn't know. He's never made any real mark in the public consciousness.

Kabuto touches Marie's waist gently and she responds by her entire body stiffening as unmovable as wood. This may be difficult. He drifts closer to her so he could whisper into her ear. "Don't be afraid."

"'m not" she whispers back sleepily.

"Your body says otherwise. I'm really not going to harm you."

"I'd love to believe that...but you haven't exactly given me a reason to think otherwise, y'know?"

"I know. I...slipped up. I'm sorry." Kabuto takes a chance and ghosts his lips along the side of Marie's neck.

"That's not why I'm afraid."

"Oh?"

"For awhile there...At least these past few days. I forgot that I'm just an assignment to you. I kinda feel really stupid."

Kabuto sighs. "So you do know."

"Honey, I knew you were trying to seduce information out of me waaaay before our first kiss. Which I initiated by the way. That was me giving into my inner teenage girl."

"So if you've known all along, why initiate this in the first place?"

"Because you're cute. Did I need another reason?"

Kabuto smiles against her neck. "I guess not. I'll admit my thought process was similar when I volunteered myself for this."

Marie turns around to face Kabuto with a smile. "Oooo really?"

"I suppose. Though technically the mission is now a failure and I should probably transfer you to another base for further experimentation."

Marie gasps in fear but Kabuto leans his forehead against hers. "I'm not going to do that."

"Why not?"

"Because I get the feeling you want to trust me."

"You're not wrong. But I can't."

"Why not?"

"Your boss."

Kabuto closes his eyes. Of course. He understood a lot of people didn't see Orochimaru-sama as he did, but those people weren't saved from certain death at the hands of ROOT by him either. He owes Orochimaru-sama his unwavering loyalty in exchange for his insignificant life. But here in his arms is a girl who may be a fountain of information, willing to divulge it to him if he renounces that loyalty. He's no stranger to betrayal. In fact, he's been betraying others for most of his life. The possibility of having to betray the man who saved his life shouldn't weigh on his conscience too much. That is, if the information is worth it.

"What if I tell you that if you don't want Orochimaru-sama to know whatever you tell me, he won't know."

Marie snorts. "Yeah okay. Do you think I'm stupid or something? You forget I know that you feel like you owe that man your life and you're going to stay loyal to him for the rest of your life even like fifteen years from now when you're running the Konoha orphanage. And I said that out loud. Damn it!"

"I...run the Konoha Orphanage in fifteen years, huh? Doesn't sound like the worst retirement plan ever, I suppose." It sounds absolutely boring. How depressing, Kabuto thinks.

Marie growls in annoyance. "Well, a lot of shit happens in between that I'm not telling you about unless it's relevant to my safety."

"Well...I'm going to have to report something to Orochimaru-sama, you know."

Marie hesitates. "Uhhhh. That Naruto brat should've returned to Konoha in the past week."

"Old news."

"Gaara's about to die temporarily. He loses his tailed beast."

"Also old news."

Marie groans. "Sasori dies at the hands of Haruno Sakura."

Kabuto lets out a low whistle. "Now that's interesting. Anything else you can tell me?"

"Anything else I tell you has a price. You have to find a way to get me home."

More to come! Review and enjoy!


	13. Chapter 13

"Get you home? Wouldn't that involve knowing something about dimension travel?"asks Kabuto.

I nod. "Yeah. I've been thinking about it and that's what I want my price to be. Surely your boss knows things about dimensional travel, right?"

"It's possible but it's most definitely not my expertise."

"Yeah. You're a biology guy, not a physics guy, I know."

Kabuto sighs. "Then why ask if you already knew that I wasn't able to help you? Silly girl..."

"Surely you have resources. The Akatsuki are all about messing with dimensions, aren't they?"

"Uchiha Itachi does posses the Mangekyō Sharingan, but I'm not entirely certain if that's what you're looking for..."

"Yeah that's all about creating pocket dimensions in someone's head. Not the same thing." I mumble.

"Actually the Tsukiyomi is merely an illusion rather than an actual dimension, controlled by the user. For example if the user of the Mangekyō Sharingan knew a lot about your dimension they could theoretically construct an illusion that matched. But you wouldn't actually have transported anywhere except in your mind." explains Kabuto smugly.

"...oh. Then never mind."

"It's late. We should probably talk about this tomorrow, alright?" Kabuto leans over to kiss my forehead before yawning theatrically and pulling me to his bare chest.

"Your cover's blown and you're still playing the part of the affectionate boyfriend, I see." I mumble into his chest. He's so warm.

"Don't think too much into it. I simply enjoy touching you, that's all. If possible, I'd like to continue our...more intimate activities if that's alright."

I snort. He's so clinical about it. So romantic. "No argument here. Not tonight though. I'm exhausted."

Kabuto doesn't answer, he just rests his head on top of mine softly. I snuggle into his arms and fall asleep within minutes.

* * *

The next morning, I'm alone in the bed again. Kabuto must be an early riser. I pull on my glasses and check for notes, but there aren't any.

I shower and dress in fresh clothes stolen from Kabuto's dresser. They fit but they're very snug. Kabuto's a skinny guy, and I'm...much curvier than he is, especially around the rear and chest area.

Kabuto's office door is open and he's at his desk, typing away at his computer. His hair is...brown. Why is his hair brown? He also wasn't wearing his glasses. Contacts, perhaps?

"Temporary hair dye. You see, we're going out after breakfast and I'd rather not get recognized. Also..." He makes a few handsigns and proceeds to press his hands to my ears and mouth with his glowing hands.

"Can you understand me?" he asks.

"Uh...yes. Why wouldn't I?"

"Because I'm speaking in Eastern."

My eyes widen. "Am...I speaking in Eastern?"

Kabuto grins. "To everyone except those who understand Western fluently, you are." The words don't match his mouth, like the sound is off just a tad.

I groan. "Can you speak English again? The delay is bothering me."

Kabuto rolls his eyes and finishes typing whatever he was typing. "Fine. Also, the genjutsu only lasts for a few days. I'll have my people make some scrolls so if something were to happen to me, you'd be able to communicate with others."

I blush. "Thanks. So where are we going?"

"It's a surprise."

* * *

I end up latching myself to Kabuto's back as he soars through the trees like some sort of giant monkey person.

"So how far away is this place we're going?" I yell as the wind roared through my ears.

"At least 45 minutes away by foot. When we get there, I want you to play along." Kabuto yells back.

"That's not shady at all."

"Don't worry. I'm not going to get you into any sort of trouble."

Sakura yawns loudly.

"Oh come on, Forehead. It's not that bad." Ino reprimands her from the cash register beside hers. "Remember we're getting C rank pay to sit around like this all weekend. And don't tell me that you don't need the easy cash."

Sakura glares at her friend. "You do realize I just got released from the hospital yesterday due to injuries sustained from a freaking S rank operation, right?"

Ino rolls her eyes. "And you needed to get out after being cooped up in that musty hospital room for three days straight. I'm doing you a favor!"

"Shikamaru and Chouji didn't want to do it with you, did they?"

"Ugh. Fine. They said retail missions were too girly for them."

Sakura rolls her eyes and notices a young couple walking through the front door. Ino puts on her best smile.

* * *

Kabuto finally lands near some sort of large clothing department store in a random civilian village.

"You're taking me...shopping?"

Kabuto smiles. "Surely you're tired of wearing my clothes."

He's right. I was. I also wanted to wear ladies underwear again.

I follow him through the doors and immediately freeze in my tracks when I saw who was greeting us. A very blonde teenage girl with pupil-less eyes and a very practiced retail smile.

Ino Yamenaka.

"Welcome! Is there anything I can help you with?"

Kabuto returns Ino's retail smile with one of his own. "Yes. We're from out of town, and my wife just got her luggage stolen. Luckily they didn't bother taking mine, but as you can see: my clothes don't exactly fit her."

I'm going to kill him. He's dead to me.

* * *

Sakura yawns again as she watches Ino assist the young couple that had just walked through the door. The woman was foreign, and definitely a civilian. The man, however, makes Sakura's brain itch.

His face is eerily familiar. Sakura has seen him somewhere else before but she can't remember where or when.

It's probably nothing.

Author's note: this isn't my best work but it's not my worst either. Ah well, regardless. Someone is totally sleeping on the couch tonight, haha. If they get out of this at least.

Review and enjoy!


	14. Chapter 14

I immediately ditched Kabuto and Ino. I'm a grown ass woman who can shop for herself. Kabuto decided to wait on the bench near the entrance with his face hidden behind a book. The disguise he assumed seemed to work, but I could tell he was making an effort to not be noticed by the two Konoha chūnin that were apparently on mission. Ugh. No wonder everyone hates d-ranks. If I had to work retail again I'd scream.

I managed to piece together a simple wardrobe consisting of several pairs of shorts and sweat pants that actually fit me and solid color tank tops in addition to a jacket, bras and underwear, tennis shoes, a pair of flip flops, and one (1) dress with sensible heels (just in case a certain fake spouse of mine decided to one day take me out to dinner. I can dream, dammit) . Lucky for me, the sizes were roughly the same as in my dimension and I haul all of my new shit to the counter. A very bored looking Sakura Haruno mans the register while Ino is nowhere to be seen; she was most likely helping another customer. I give Sakura a reassuring smile. "Something tells me you're not here by choice."

"What gave that away?" Sakura's voice is flat.

"It's the blank stare. It takes someone who's worked in retail before to notice it."

"I've got better things to do than be stuck here." Sakura grumbles.

I laugh. "Don't worry. You're a ninja, right? I'm sure that the next assignment will be much more interesting than filling in for absent retail workers."

Sakura sighs and shakes her head. "I don't mind these sorts of assignments usually. It's just...I could be assisting in healing my injured team leader but instead I'm here doing absolutely nothing to help him."

Ino reappears begins Sakura. "We've been through this, Forehead: chakra exhaustion is a bad thing. You needed to get out of that hospital for a couple of days. Your sensei is in good hands." She turns to me. "I'm sorry about her, ma'am. Are you ready to check out?"

I hold up a hand. "One moment. Let me get my...husband. He's the one with the money after all."

"Of course, ma'am." Ino chirps.

I approach Kabuto. He was still trying to blend in with the scenery behind his book. "Hon, you're up. I don't think they've recognized you so I think you're safe." I whisper.

Kabuto glares at me. "Speak louder so they can hear you next time." he growls, closing his book and putting it in his bag before standing up.

"Sorry." I hiss softly. Kabuto rolls his eyes and takes one of my hands into his, intertwining our fingers. We approach the register and Kabuto smiles at the two other shinobi. "How much do I owe you ladies?"

* * *

"Hey Ino."

"Hmm?"

"Didn't the guy look familiar to you? Like...scarily familiar?"

Ino rolls her eyes. "You're starting to get paranoid in your old age, Sakura. Not everyone you run into is a threat to the village."

"I'm going to check the Bingo book just in case." says Sakura, already flipping through the pages. After a minute of flipping, she gasps and immediately runs out of the store in mad pursuit.

Oto...Yakushi Kabuto...right hand man to Orochimaru...and we just let him go?

Sakura bursts through the treetops for any indication of the couple's location, to no avail. She lands in a clearing with a loud crack as the earth split under her as she sobs into the ground.

A lead to Sasuke-kun was hanging right in front of her face for half an hour and she didn't even notice. Sakura gets to her fee, wipes away her tears and starts heading back to the store.

At least there was still that lead given to her by Sasori to investigate. All hope isn't lost.

* * *

"I needed to get us out of there as soon as possible before one of those girls decides to consult the Bingo Book. I wasn't planning on running into any shinobi today." laments Kabuto as he carries me through the treetops on his back.

"How did you know that they were suspicious?"

"Haruno-san was eying me suspiciously while you were shopping."

"I still can't believe that working retail is a D rank mission."

Kabuto laughs. "D ranks come in all forms of monotony. Thankfully I was never a ranked shinobi. I spent my genin years traveling from nation to nation gathering intel."

"Aren't you technically still a genin?" I tease.

"Technically, yes. But rank doesn't apply to someone like me."

"Oh right. You're considered a 'S-class criminal.'"

"That's right."

"You know some women might actually find that incredibly sexy." I purr.

"Oh?"

"Mhm. Dangerous men are attractive. Totally in a primitive hormonal way, though."

Kabuto hums in approval. "Sometimes giving into your baser instincts is the healthiest course of action, yes?

"Is that your opinion as a medical professional?" I ask flirtatiously.

"I suppose it is, though it may be tainted by my current hormonal condition. I should probably take care of that when we get home, hmm?"

I blush furiously and attempt to hold in my giggles. Never has "I'm totally going to fuck you senseless when we get home" sounded so nerdy.

* * *

I collapse on the bed in exhaustion as I try and catch my breath. Kabuto lays beside me in a similar condition, though not breathing as heavily as I was.

"I need to get into better shape if we're going to keep going at it like rabbits." I pant.

Kabuto lets out a choked laugh and kisses my bare shoulder. "You should start with running with me in the mornings."

I roll my eyes. "Ugh. Cardio in the early morning? Pass...Plus I know how fast you run."

"Just try it for few days. And I don't enhance my speed with chakra on my morning runs." His lips move towards my collarbone as he pulls me closer.

"Why can't we run at night?" I whine.

"Because I want to do this at night instead." Kabuto kisses my lips briefly before trailing kisses along my jaw downwards towards my throat.

"Hm. You make a very convincing argument." I gasp.

"I know I do." murmurs Kabuto seductively against my neck.

"Fine. I guess...tomorrow I'll go running with you."

Kabuto grins. "Excellent." he says before capturing my lips with his with vigor.

I would later regret those words.

* * *

Author's note: oh god writing this chapter was like pulling teeth. The plot's coming soon, I just wanna write some more domestic filler and shame Sasuke a little bit before we move on with the plot.

Anyway! Review and enjoy!


	15. Chapter 15

Morning people are insane. No, really. Those who decide to get up at like 3 fucking am are certifiably out of their gourds.

That being said, all my life, I've lived with morning people. My parents, who think 4am is an excellent wake up time. My little sister, who gets to class early (as in six in the morning early) so she can "study".

And now, I live with the most obnoxious morning person I've probably ever met.

It's currently 3:30 am and I'm still half asleep while Kabuto hops around the apartment like a rabbit on speed. He's fully dressed and stretching like he's been awake for hours. I stare at him in awe and disgust, still fully nude and in bed where I belong at 3am.

I scoff at Kabuto and bury myself under the covers but they're snatched away from me almost immediately.

"Ah ah ah, you're joining me today, remember?" says Kabuto gleefully. He's enjoying this way too much. It's actually kind of creepy.

"I changed my mind. Now, gimme." I mumble sleepily, making grabbing gestures towards the covers in his hands.

Kabuto laughs cruelly and picks me up bridal style.

I flail. "Lemme go! I don't wanna!"

"Apologies, but I'm afraid you now have no choice in the matter. Get dressed and meet me in the kitchen in five minutes or there will be cold water."

Then he drops me on the floor and saunters out of the bedroom. What a dick.

I lie on the floor and regret past!Marie's decision to get into shape. Dammit, past!Marie. Why did you agree to this torture!?

I reluctantly dress and slowly shuffle my way to the kitchen.

"Please tell me there's coffee." I mumble sleepily. There is no way in hell that I'm going to run at three fucking am without caffeine.

Kabuto chuckles. "There is." He gestures to the coffee maker, which was already filled with caffeinated goodness.

"Oh thank Christ." I mumble slightly less sleepily than before.

"Help yourself. There's also milk and sugar if you need it."

"You know, for an evil mad scientist slash doctor slash ninja slash spy you're awfully hospitable. Has anyone ever told you that?" I snark as I pour myself half a cup of coffee, then reach into the fridge for the milk.

"You're the first, I'm afraid. Most people don't acknowledge my existence. I am quite good at my job, after all."

"I see. Where's the sugar?" I ask and Kabuto gestures to the sugar bowl as I start stirring my milk/coffee concoction with a spoon. I stop stirring to grab the sugar bowl, dumping a copious amount into my drink before blending it into my drink.

Kabuto gives me a Look that said 'That's an unhealthy amount of sugar.'

I roll my eyes. "I just like really sweet coffee that doesn't burn my tongue, alright?"

"I didn't say anything." retorts Kabuto.

"You didn't need to. Your face said it for you."

"You know, you really need to work on your eating habits. The fact that you refuse to eat vegetables is concerning to me." muses Kabuto.

I groan and roll my eyes before sipping on my coffee. Damn. That's strong.

"You sound like my mother. She's constantly trying to get me to change my diet." I mutter and take another sip.

"Well your mother is probably concerned for her daughter's health."

I snort and put my mug down. I only needed a few sips to get me going. "Yeah well, I can't eat anything leafy without gagging. Totally a psychological thing but I can't keep it down regardless."

"That's...concerning."

I shrug and throw my arms around Kabuto's neck, giving him a short peck on the lips.

"What was that for?" he asks.

I sigh. "Because despite the fact that he's buried under a mountain of deep, deep psychological issues, the real Kabuto is still in there and I think he's kinda cute when he's being a mother hen."

Kabuto doesn't say anything in response, he just stares at me blankly until I feel uncomfortable and get out of his personal bubble.

Yeah. So I guess he isn't ready to discuss his lifetime identity crisis with me just yet. And that's fine. I don't think our relationship has progressed to that point. Despite our physical intimacy, Kabuto and I are still mostly strangers to each other. He still sees me as part of an ongoing mission. He shows concern for my health because he's a medical professional, not out of affection. I probably just messed up big time in mentioning the fact that I know about his...issues. I just...got caught up in the moment and forgot. Again. I seem to do that a lot and Kabuto isn't helping by playing his role as my fake boyfriend so well.

I brood over this whole stretching my limbs in preparation for the agony that is to come. The fact that I keep having to remind myself that he doesn't actually care is a testament to how well Kabuto does his job.

I groan and lay my forehead against the couch. I just have to keep reminding myself until he either helps me find a way home or he decides I'm actually useless and kills me or turns me into a mutant. Personally I'm hoping for the former rather than the latter, obviously.

I'm still stretching and brooding when Kabuto approaches me. "Ready to go?" he asks.

I shrug. "I guess. I think I'm going to need help getting up from the floor. Not as young as I used to be."

Kabuto chuckles and offers me a hand and we leave the apartment.

xxxxxxxxxx

I used to run pretty regularly but then I realized it wasn't really doing anything for me and I just kind of...stopped doing it.

Now I wish I had never stopped because I am dying. My legs are dying, my feet are dying. I can't breathe and we've only been running for like ten minutes. Kabuto keeps a steady pace ahead of me, checking behind his shoulder every now and then to see if I'm still breathing.

"How...much farther?" I pant

Kabuto turns around and grins. "I'm not going to tell you. Just enjoy the morning air and move your legs."

I groan loudly. This was going to be a long day.

xxxxxxxxx

Author's Note: Domestic fluff. Next chapter is gonna be more domestic fluff with a side of smut and a heaping of Sasuke angst later on. I've been kind of not in a writing mood lately so it may be a few days. I'll try to make it longer too, shoving all of that into one chapter before we move on. Hope you enjoy this light little chapter!

a big thanks to my lone reviewer, ManicSkies who is my first reviewer ever that will actually reply to their PMs! C:

Reviews are love. If you like the story, let me know and if you want to talk about my story or need something cleared up plot wise or character wise, my inbox is always open. I'm not a very decent writer just yet, so there may be some things I'm leaving out in my narrative. Anyway, thanks for reading!


	16. Chapter 16

Author's note: The second sex scene contains some dubious consent, though it doesn't remain dubious for long. I've marked it in the chapter of you want to skip it.

* * *

When we get home, I collapse on the couch, my face planted into the pillows.

"Do you need any water?" asks Kabuto smugly.

I roll onto my back and refrain from flipping him off. Because fuck getting into shape, seriously. I could barely run for five minutes straight before I had to stop and take a break. I'm not as young as I used to be...

"That would be lovely, thanks dear." I squeak in a fake-sweet voice that drips with contempt.

Kabuto chuckles softly and heads into the kitchen. What a prick.

"So you do this every morning?" I ask, in an attempt to distract myself from my aching muscles.

"That's right." he says, emerging from the kitchen with two glasses of water. I sit up to make room for him on the couch. He hands me a glass and takes a swig out of the other one. He's sweating, but his breathing is nowhere near as hard as mine.

I down my own glass in one gulp, placing the empty glass on the coffee table. It did help, but I was still a sweaty disgusting sore mess. Kabuto finishes his own glass and takes both of our glasses to the sink before rejoining me on the couch, pulling me to his side. I try to shove him away. "Ew get away from me you're all sweaty and gross."

Kabuto kisses my nose and grins. "So are you."

He does have a point. Dammit. I know he's only being sweet and adorable because of his damn job, but I fall for it every time. I let him kiss me softly.

"So how about that shower?" he murmurs seductively against my lips.

xxxx

We shower together and I'm not going to lie, it was kinda relaxing. I usually don't like it when people mess with my hair, but Kabuto knew how to massage a scalp like a pro. I attempted to return the favor , but I didn't think I did as good, because I'm me. The whole experience was very pleasant and kind of sensual. I've showered with lovers before, but the experience was always awkward and uncomfortable. With Kabuto it felt kinda natural.

Honestly the fact that I feel so comfortable around this man should concern me more than it does. I mean...this IS the man that exploits people's weaknesses to get what he needs from them. This is the guy who used his own blood to psychologically shock Tsunade into losing the fight against him. This is the guy that if I don't do something soon, will absorb his boss and try and surpass him in power by becoming a sage, only for that power to be used to start a freaking world war.

Of course these thoughts ran through my head as I allowed that guy, who is technically a war criminal at this point, wash my hair and body while I did the same for him, stopping on occasion for gentle yet passionate kisses under the stream of hot water.

[here comes the smut!]

Those kisses got rougher and even more passionate as the water was turned off.

I am not light at all, but Kabuto picks me up as if I'm weightless and lays me on the bed. His hand brushes my mound, fingers slipping against my folds briefly to check my readiness before he quickly forms the seals for the condom jutsu(he hates the name, but that's what it is: a thin chakra bubble that prevents semen from entering my uterus.) and he enters me smoothly, molding his lips to mine as he establishes a very steady rhythm. I'm too sore to do much else but cling tightly to Kabuto's torso with both my arms and legs and let him have control of our union.

Skin slaps against skin and the only other sound is our shared labored breathing mixed with small gasps and grunts of pleasure.

Kabuto breaks away from my lips to whisper into my ear. "Have I ever told you how utterly fantastic you feel?"

"Mm..no?"

He chuckles a little and reaches down to rub his thumb against my clit, making me gasp as an orgasm quickly began to build inside me. Kabuto moans softly as my muscles clench around him.

"Amazing..." he says breathlessly before recapturing my lips and sliding his tongue against mine. Kabuto picks up the speed of his thrusts and I could do nothing but hold on to him tightly as he began to pulse inside causing pleasurable aftershock waves. I break away from his lips to let out an involuntary noise and Kabuto makes a similar sound as he slams into me one last time before his muscles relax and he slowly slides himself out of me.

[end smut]

I slide myself out from under Kabuto and bury myself under the covers.

"Going back to sleep, are you?" he asks with a tinge of amusement in his voice.

"Join meeee." I whisper, holding out my hand. Kabuto gives me a look.

"I shouldn't waste my day off..." he murmurs softly, before taking his side of the bed and pulling me towards his chest.

I giggle. "But Sunday mornings are best spent in bed like this, don'tchya know?"

"Mmm...you make a very convincing argument." Kabuto murmurs before leaning in to kiss me thoroughly.

After we part, I rest me head against the crook of his neck. "Sundays are best spent in bed." I repeat with confidence.

"I suppose there are worse ways to spend my time than staying in bed with an attractive woman." muses Kabuto. He traces his hands along my back in comforting circles.

I blush. "You find me attractive?" That came as a surprise to me. I thought he was only sleeping with me for information. I guess not all of it is completely an act after all.

"I find you very attractive. Especially in your current state."

I giggle again. "My current state?"

"Mhm. Right now you are the most beautiful woman I've ever seen."

I snort. "You're bullshitting me right now, aren't you?"

Kabuto chuckles. "A little bit. Was that too much?"

"Oh yeah."

"Hmmm. Usually that works on most targets."

I roll my eyes. "For one, you just referred to me as a target, silly spy boy. But you're being honest with me for once, and I like that."

Kabuto sighs and pulls me closer. "In actuality, you are one of the few seduction targets that I do actually find quite attractive. Most of the time my targets are much more plain looking or way too old."

I cough. "You do this often?"

"Not so much now that I've established myself as Orochimaru-sama's right hand man. I now have a say in what missions I take on. I volunteered myself for this particular assignment."

"Why?" I ask.

"Because I was the most logical choice. Also," his voice went lower, "I felt a very strong attraction to you and I wanted to explore it in a much more...intimate way."

"So you're saying that you're sleeping with me because you actually want to not because it's your job?"

"It's a little bit of both if I'm being completely honest. The truth is I thoroughly enjoy being inside you."

I blush furiously and bury my face into Kabuto's shoulder.

"You seriously need to stop being so charming. It's confusing." I mutter.

"How is it confusing?"

"It's...probably something I should keep to myself." I say with caution.

"You don't want to be vulnerable to me." states Kabuto casually. "You do realize my job is to observe you, right? You're really not that hard to figure out."

I wince. "Ouch."

"You asked me to be honest." he says in an 'I told you so' sort of tone.

"I guess I did, didn't I? I'm well aware that I'm kind of a shallow bitch."

"Now now I wouldn't say that. On the surface perhaps but despite appearances I can tell you're more than you appear."

I roll my eyes. "Now you're just trying to be nice. It's creepy."

"Hah! I'm really not trying to placate you. I think we're past the point where false niceties are needed, hm? After all, you claim to know who I really am."

I laugh. "You don't even know that."

"...precisely." There's a tinge of sadness to his voice.

I prop myself up onto Kabuto's chest and look him in the eyes. "Listen to me. Whatever happens I want you to do me a favor."

"And that is..?"

Alright. Here it goes. I take a deep breath.

"Please don't experiment on yourself. You are perfect the way you are right now. Physically...at least."

A small smirk plays on Kabuto's lips. "And what made you come to the conclusion that I would do such a thing?" he says in a dangerously soft tone.

"Guess."

"Hmm...no. I want you to tell me." His arm tightens around my middle, locking me to his chest.

Shit. I should've thought this through. Why am I so stupid!?

"I'm not going to just give you an answer. T-That's not how this works."

Kabuto raises an eyebrow and sighs deeply. "My darling, I don't think you understand. You are not in control here."

[Explicit content; semi dubious consent]

With lightning speed , Kabuto flips me onto my back and shoves himself inside me. I gasp at the sudden intrusion but he covers my mouth with his in a fierce kiss. Our teeth clash as he pounds into me, our skin slapping together with each thrust. Okay fine. He wants it rough? I'll give him rough.

I bite his bottom lip hard and he growls and moves to my neck to bite at the skin there. My nails dig into his back as he starts to move faster. Usually during sex, Kabuto is almost nearly silent with the occasional moan or gasp here and there but right now he is very very vocal. The translation jutsu must have worn off because he's talking in Eastern and I can't understand him but I can tell whatever he's saying is absolutely filthy. His words are enhanced with the most arousing noises and I can't help but hold on even tighter, my nails dig into his back even harder than before.

I'm nowhere near close to completion but right now I don't care about me. This is Kabuto being selfish for once in his damn life. I kiss him again roughly and he thrusts his tongue through my lips and I allow him to consume me.

Somewhere along the way I actually started to develop legit feelings for Kabuto. I'm not sure when it started but it was sometime in the past week or so and it was this moment that made me realize how much I cared for him.

It's a scary thing to realize during hate sex.

We part for breath and I cling to Kabuto biting his shoulder as he brings himself to completion, pulling himself out at the last second and spilling his seed on the bedspread. He collapses on the pillow next to mine and I sit on the bed cross legged on my side.

We stare at each other for a few minutes, breathing heavily, saying nothing. Kabuto's lip is bleeding and I also broke the skin on his shoulder.

It's me who reaches for the tissues to clean up the mess. At least he pulled out just in time.

[end explicit content]

After I clean up, I break the silence.

"I'm sorry about biting your lip."

"Don't try and change the subject." he hisses. "You still haven't told me what I want to know." He pulls me under him again, trapping me with his body.

"Is this an interrogation?" I ask.

"This is me asking nicely. You don't want to know what an actual interrogation with me entails."

"I gave you an obvious hint. You're an intelligent man. What do you think I'm implying by my request?"

"That sometime in the near future I use myself as a test subject for my experiments."

"See? I knew you could figure it out!"

Kabuto was still visibly upset. "Why would I do such a thing!?"

"Spoilers. If I tell you you'll change what needs to happen."

Kabuto's eyes narrow. "Oh. I see." he says darkly. "Something happens to Orochimaru-sama. Something I couldn't anticipate."

I say nothing.

"WHAT happens?" he yells. I wince, tearing my eyes away from his.

I take a deep breath. "When Orochimaru attempts-"

"Orochimaru-sama or Lord Orochimaru if you want the Western equivalent." corrects Kabuto snappily. I forgot he was super anal about titles.

"Fine. When Lord Orochimaru tries to take over Sasuke's body he will fail and you will absorb his essence. It kind of makes you crazy. You also end up performing procedures on yourself so you can access the powers of all the Sound ninja."

"And?"

"And what?"

" What. Else. Happens?" asks Kabuto through clenched teeth.

"That's all you're getting out of me for now."

He sighs and gets off of me, pulling clothes out of the dresser. "I need to process this, so I'm going out."

"When will you be back?" I ask, covering myself with the sheets.

"I don't know." He sits on the bed, half dressed with a shirt in his hand. I can see the angry nail marks I made on his back. They look painful.

"Do I need to do anything while you're gone?" I ask softly.

"Check on Sasuke-kun for me if you can. "

I nod. "Alright."

He turns to look at me with an unreadable expression, pulling on his shirt and leaving the apartment in a blur.

And now I was alone.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Author's note: ...Well that happened. I made this one nice and long for you guys. Shoutout to ManicSkies again for their support and consistent reviewing. Next chapter will have much less Kabuto and much more Sasuke. Who's ready for some Sasuke angst?

Review and enjoy!


	17. Chapter 17

I spend the rest of the morning sprawled across my bed in full mind racing mode. My conscience was screaming at me for revealing such a giant spoiler to Kabuto while he's still loyal to Orochimaru. What if he tells Orochimaru about what's going to happen? Ugh what if I messed up canon?

I also ache all over. My back and feet hurt from running. My ass, thighs and neck hurt from the sex. I was dreading looking in the mirror. Kabuto has scratches and bites all over his torso, not to mention the bleeding lip. I can only imagine what I look like.

Finally I manage to drag myself out of bed and into the bathroom around ten. Sure enough, I looked thoroughly ravished. My neck was covered in loud red marks. Luckily the swelling in my lips had gone down quite a bit, though they were still quite red. I figured I could cover the marks on my neck with my hair. Sasuke shouldn't notice a thing.

I dress and leave the apartment with a spare key, a map and my bag. According to the map, Sasuke's apartment should be just around the corner.

I knock on the door, hoping that he was home.

"Sasuke." I yell. "Are you in there?"

There's rustling behind the door and a grumpy Sasuke appears in the doorframe. He glares.

"What do ya want?" he growls. "I'm done taking lessons from you. Kabuto says my accent is off. I told 'im I was just copyin' you and both of us came to the conclusion that you did it on purpose."

I snort. "I did what he asked me to do. Ya definitely sound like a native. It's just...not the standard dialect. I was feelin' homesick so I taught you the regional dialect of my relatives. Gives ya character. I mean, I'm sure you can flatten it out a little bit if you work at it." I give Sasuke an exaggerated wink and a smile.

Sasuke glares at me harder. "Why are you here?"

"Well, my boyfriend and I had a fight this morning and he ended up storming off to God knows where. Before he left, he asked me to check up on you. Plus, I'm bored and wanted to invite you over for a little X-files marathon and I'm afraid I'm not taking no for an answer." I pull out Kabuto's X-files tapes from my bag and invite myself inside Sasuke's apartment. It was similar to Kabuto's, though it was a lot more Eastern inspired where Kabuto's apartment was more Western furnished. Thankfully Sasuke did have a TV with a VCR player.

Sasuke sighs and joins me in the living room. "What's X-files?"

"A television show from my reality. Turns out they have it in this reality too! It's a little different but the premise is basically the same."

So Sasuke and I watch selected episodes of 'The X-files' I had previously gone through and found my favorite episodes on each tape to show him: most of them Monster of the Week episodes so I didn't have to explain the lore to him. Sasuke seemed to enjoy himself, as much as Sasuke can at least.

In the late afternoon, Sasuke decides to go for a walk to stretch his legs and I attempt to make small talk.

"So, I saw one of your teammates the other day."

"...I don't have any teammates. Not anymore."

I roll my eyes. This kid is so dramatic.

"Don't you want to know who it was?"

"Not really."

"Well I'm gonna tell you anyway. It was Sakura."

"Hn."

"Don't you even want to know how she's doing?" I ask.

"She's alive. That's all that matters."

What the hell is wrong with this kid!? That's his future wife.

"Sasuke, they're your family."

"My family is dead."

"In the wise wise words of Dean Winchester, 'Family don't end in blood. The people that care about you? That's your family.'

Sasuke scoffs. "Dean Winchester is an idiot. Family is blood."

"You know, Dean's a lot like your brother Itachi."

"Hn. Did he kill his entire family too?"

I roll my eyes. "No. But he had a little brother that he would do anything to protect, even if it meant going to hell. Literally. And while he was in hell, his beloved little brother started down a destructive path that lead to the start of the Apocalypse."

"And what is that?"

"The end of the world."

"So you're sayin' Itachi put himself in hell to protect me and right now I'm on a destructive path that will lead to the end of the world?"

"Eh, the analogy isn't completely right. More like you're going down a path that will have dire consequences in the future."

Sasuke looks at me with skepticism. "Next you're gonna to tell me my future, is that right?" His voice is dripping with sarcasm.

"Fine. You want to hear your future?" I snap angrily . "Here it is: you're going to father a beautiful and talented little girl who isn't going to know her father until she's twelve years old because he's too damn ashamed of what he's done in the past, he feels as if he had to travel the world and redeem himself. And no, I'm not going to tell you who the mother is, because you've pissed me off!"

After I finish my mini rant, I skull back to the base. Once I enter the safety of the apartment I let out a scream.

"Rough day?" Kabuto's on the couch, reading a book. Shit.

Of course, Kabuto would be back now because my luck is awesome today. I so did not want to deal with him right now.

"Sasuke."

"...Oh, I see. Do you want to talk about it?"

I see CourteousandCharming!Kabuto is back. Lovely.

"Do you even care?"

Kabuto shrugs. "I'm curious." He scoots over to make room for me on the couch. I reluctantly join him against my better judgement. We didn't exactly leave on very friendly terms this morning.

I tell Kabuto about my day with Sasuke and he seems to listen very attentively.

"Sasuke-kun is dead set on killing his brother. I don't think someone like you can dissuade him just by making allegories to a television show he's never even seen before."

My shoulders slump. He was right. "I...also may have slipped and told him that he started a family and that he hasn't been home in like twelve years because he's on some journey of redemption."

Kabuto raises his eyebrows in surprise. "Oh? Is that so?"

"I was vague, but yeah. Thought it might shock his system. Not sure if it worked though, he pissed me off so much I stormed off."

"Ah. I see."

"So, um...how are you?" I ask awkwardly.

"I've let the information sink in." says Kabuto calmly.

"And?"

"And...that's it. There's not anything I can do about it right now except research alternative solutions."

Wow he's actually taking it better than I thought he would.

"Um...well, you do have some time, I guess. At least a month or two. Maybe more. I don't know the exact timeframe."

Kabuto puts his book on the coffee table. "Also there's something else I wanted to ask that's a little more urgent."

XXXXXXXXXX

Author's note: oops I wrote another chapter today. We're going into plot territory next chapter! Yaaaay!

Review and enjoy~!


	18. Chapter 18

Earlier...

Kabuto sprints through the trees at shinobi speed. His mind is still processing what Marie had told him about the future.

Orochimaru-sama's health was failing and he was planning on taking Sasuke's body within the year. Kabuto had been preparing for this for quite some time and had been quite confident that he could perform the transfer correctly.

However the only way that the procedure could fail is if Sasuke-kun became too powerful or if Orochimaru-sama decided to take Sasuke-kun's body before he enacted his vengeance on Itachi. Or possibly both.

Kabuto wasn't sure how he'd react if Orochimaru-sama failed in his takeover of Sasuke's body. According to Marie, he took it on himself to house Orochimaru-sama's essence and it drove him mad. It certainly sounded like something he would resort to if Orochimaru-sama's plan were to fail without warning. At the moment, Kabuto couldn't see any other way to save him should Orochimaru-sama fail to take over Sasuke.

More research must be done. There has to be a way for him to house Orochimaru-sama without losing his mind in the process. After all he was merely a blank slate that had been given purpose thanks to Orochimaru-sama. Saving his life was the least a nobody like Kabuto could do.

However, Marie's warning stuck out in Kabuto's mind. His alleged madness brought on by absorbing the Sannin must have triggered some sort of crisis, but Kabuto doubted Marie would tell him anything else at this point.

Scaring her did give him some information, but Kabuto felt as if he had most likely lost some of her trust by the way he reacted. He cursed his lack of restraint. It wasn't like him to lose control like that. Rebuilding Marie's trust would serve his interests better, as she also seems to hold information about his meetings with Sasori-sama, a partnership only he and Orochimaru-sama knew existed. His rendezvous with Sasori-sama was merely a few days away and Marie definitely knew something about the meeting that he did not, given the fact that according to Marie, Haruno Sakura had killed Sasori-sama in combat recently.

How should he go about gaining his lover's trust back? It wasn't going to be easy, though Kabuto highly suspected that Marie was somewhat infatuated with him in some way. He knew the signs, and Marie was exhibiting quite a few of them; though he also suspected she was trying to keep herself distracted from her current situation by focusing on any sort of normalcy that she could find.

It was a common trait in captives, though the object of focus varied. For some, it was food, for some it was exercise. For Marie, it seemed her normalcy lies in reading and (since it was available) sexual intercourse. Over the past few days he had satisfied her rather large sexual appetite, and despite the occasional regresses in the persona he had built to seduce her, she had been quite malleable to his questions, if he pushed the right buttons.

On the other hand...what if he was overthinking all of this? Perhaps if Kabuto simply asked about his upcoming meeting with Sasori-sama, Marie would tell him; after all, she had already let slip that Haruno Sakura, Tsunade-hime's star apprentice, had killed Sasori-sama in combat.

It couldn't hurt to ask. If she didn't tell him, well, he was already familiar enough with Marie's erotic zones to engage in some torturous teasing that would most definitely elicit answers to his questions.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"Also there's something else I wanted to ask that's a little more urgent."

I sigh inwardly. Can I just not be in Naruto anymore? If I shut my eyes and wish really hard can I transport myself out of this hellhole and possibly take Kabuto with me? I mean...my parents won't be happy to have yet another adult to take care of but I'm sure Kabuto's intelligent enough to find a place of his own pretty quickly.

Man, how would I explain him to them? "Hey this is the guy that kidnapped me. Can you help him forge a fake identity? Oh, and we've been sleeping together, so I hope that's cool." My mother's head would explode and my father would probably kick both of us out on the spot...

"Um...Marie-chan? Are you listening? Your eyes are kind of glazed over."

I jolt myself out of my thoughts. "Oh! I'm sorry. I was just...in my thoughts."

"Obviously." Kabuto's lips twitch upward in amusement and he kisses my forehead. Okay. So he's boyfriend!Kabuto again rather than mentallyunstable!Kabuto, who I almost prefer because at least mentallyunstable!Kabuto is honest. Boyfriend!Kabuto is very sweet, but he doesn't actually exist.

"So...um. What did you want to ask? I don't guarantee a straight answer."

"Heh. I know. You mentioned earlier that Sakura-chan killed Sasori-sama. I have a meeting with Sasori-sama in several days. I was just wondering if I'm going to walk into an ambush."

Ohhhh shit. My eyes widen.

"From your expression, I'm assuming yes?"

Well. It wouldn't hurt to earn him about Team 7, I guess.

"You, ah, could say that, I guess." I say nervously.

"Oh?"

"Sasuke's teammates really want him back. They end up invading the base, but it's nothing to worry about, really."

Kabuto gives me a Look. "And why is that?"

"Because Sasuke's a jerk and says he's not leaving even though they went through all that trouble to stage a rescue mission."

That makes Kabuto dissolve into a fit of laughter.

"Yeah." I say dryly. "And based on our conversation earlier, Sasuke has no intention of leaving either."

"The boy is dead set on his vengeance. Oh, Orochimaru-sama is going to love this." says Kabuto through his giggle fit.

I cringe at the mention of Orochimaru's name and Kabuto notices and pulls me toward his chest, stroking my hair lightly.

"I apologize for my behavior this morning" he murmurs.

I snort. "You're not sorry. You got what you wanted. This is you just trying to be nice."

Kabuto sighs loudly. "You just had to ruin the moment, didn't you?"

"It's a gift."

xxxxx

The sex that followed that conversation was much gentler than our last encounter. We sure did it a lot, I realized. Probably because there wasn't much else for us to do. The only decent Western tv show was only in its third season, and Kabuto didn't own any movies in my language. Apparently the translation jutsu wouldn't work for movies.

So, to entertain ourselves, we have sex. Lots and lots of it.* It was a good thing we had 100% reliable contraception or else I would probably already be pregnant with a silver haired baby by now.

In between our encounters, there was always stimulating conversation. Kabuto is well spoken and curious about everything (as a good young scientist should be) ; the most frequent topic had to be the technology in my universe.

"So in your universe, you can have a computer small enough to fit into your hand? Amazing."

We managed to migrate to the bed after a very memorable round on the couch and then on the kitchen counter. I'm draped on top of Kabuto, who has been tracing his fingers along my back in sinful circles.

"Mhmm. It's also why I laughed at your computer set-up." I lean forward and met his lips in a brief kiss.

"I see. What does this handheld computer do?" Kabuto asks, kissing me again, making me giggle.

"What's so funny?" he asks, a crooked smile forming across his face.

"It's...it's nothing. I just realized we've turned into one of those disgusting couples that can't keep our hands off of each other. I mean...when you're home. 75% of the time we're both naked."

"Is that so? I haven't noticed." he says smugly, leaning in for another kiss.

I snort against his lips as I pull away. "Li-ar."

"It's not my fault you can't keep your hands off of me." he purrs.

I scoff. "Okay. It takes two to tango, good sir."

"You still haven't answered my question."

"About the tiny computer?"

"That's right."

"Well, the proper name for it is smartphone."

"So its a telephone."

"It can function as one, yes. But it can do so much more. Do y'all have a thing called the internet yet?"

"The what?"

xxxxxxxxxxxx

The next few days were spent in a pretty mundane fashion. I spent a lot of time outdoors either throwing acorns at Sasuke while he attempted to train or reading. Or napping. I had found this lovely tree that was perfect for napping.

Kabuto was away for most of the day, usually. He would usually come home around seven pm and bring food. We'd eat, watch an episode of the X-files, debate the possibility of actual alien life (which I knew for a fact existed in this universe) Kabuto scoffed at the possibility, of course ("You sound absolutely ridiculous, Marie-chan; there is no scientific evidence that there is alien life on the moon and one day the prince of said moon people will look for a bride in the Hyūga clan)

Most of the time these debates ended with tangled limbs and nudity. Not all of our fights ended that way, though I suspected Kabuto kept his temper on cool around me as to keep up the couple illusion. We would bicker about small things like the neatness of our apartment.

However I knew this was the calm before the storm. On the morning of the meeting, I secretly opened one of the translation jutsu scrolls. I was supposed to stay in the apartment during the invasion, but I wanted to watch from afar and if I happened to run into a member of Team Kakashi-without-Kakashi I would like to be able to communicate with them.

So, once Kabuto left for the meeting, I found my napping tree and waited for the show to begin.

xxxxxx

Footnotes

*: This is actually why people in the olden days had so many kids. There wasn't that much to do so they just had sex a lot.

**: Planning on doing a few drabbles of the debates Kabuto and Marie would get into if anyone is interested. These two have a mind of their own sometimes.

xxxxxxxxx

Author's note: I've been putting off the next chapter for so long and just making more and more fluff chapters because I'm not too good at plot things and I'm super nervous. Welp. Have to bite the bullet and get through it I guess.


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